tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41899304588954540912024-03-12T20:17:29.731-07:00A Child to Love...Our Adoption JourneyLike most married couples we expected to be able to start our family "naturally"....but, God had other plans for us! After two years of infertility and two failed adoptions God prepared our hearts for a child to love. And here is our journey...Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-84810253581781942392012-05-14T11:34:00.001-07:002012-05-14T12:15:01.239-07:00Joyful celebration...Yesterday, because of our sweet little blessing, I was able to celebrate mother's day for the first time. <br />
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Though it was a precious, wonderful day, I could not help but recall Mother's days of the past. <br />
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Two years ago I was so distraught and saddened by our infertility issues I could not make myself attend church on mother's day. Though meant to be a day of celebrating, it was a painful reminder of my loss. While others were in church, I took our dog for a walk and returned home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers in a straw tied mason jar. Attached was the sweetest note from a friend...a friend who had a beautiful two year old, but who had previously walked the long journey of infertility. I still have her card on my bedside table. Although I was not yet a mother, it was such a blessing to have my longing of motherhood recognized and to be encouraged that my time of celebration would too come. <br />
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Last year on mother's day we knew about Baker...but, sat in a precarious situation. With two failed adoptions already under our belt, we realistically knew that our prospective adoption would not be "official" until late June. While in my heart Baker was already ours, I couldn't really allow myself the freedom to celebrate. However, I did muster up the courage to attend church that morning, and I'm thankful I did. After the mother's stood to be recognized that morning (which, of note, I believe makes it extremely awkward for people "of age" who do not yet have children, have had miscarriages, or have lost children...but that is a soap box I won't get into right now) two of my sweet friends (a mother and daughter) turned around and said to me, "That will be you next year." Tears started forming then as another dear friend came and sat beside me and had me read one of the most encouraging and prayerful cards about my future of motherhood--after which I began the "ugly" cry (you know what I'm talking about). <br />
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What a joy it was this mother's day to be woken up by a crying baby. Though not always a welcomed sound, yesterday it was...especially after recalling the past two mother's days. On top of being able to celebrate with my wonderful husband (who gave me the most creative and thoughtful gift--I will post a pic later) and adorable son, we were with my mother...my biggest cheerleader in life. She is such a role model of love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. I am blessed to be her daughter.<br />
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Baker's birth mother also had a reason to be honored yesterday. She will always and forever have a place in our hearts on mother's day. Her selfless decision to give him life provided us a family. Earlier last week we sent her a package with several recent pictures and a craft Baker helped make (thank you pinterest). The day after we sent her package, I received a gift from her family. The sweetest part about it? The envelope was addressed to "Baker's mom." Love them! We are so blessed to be in an open adoption with such an amazing family. She and I exchanged several texts yesterday...sweet moments I will cherish of my first mother's day celebration. <br />
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<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaYPlhAiMHqMRvplmp0PLOSNzgsYZ6Yae-TLRoOKi4gvKh3B1FYgwJcD44gQf_taPt_umYxQIseaX-LC38iJcExyzk6WpG-3i3Hf-Pwuj7Tf_j88NB6l9-pE8RyEDpaAGmcmpKciQQntWV/s640/blogger-image--498032872.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaYPlhAiMHqMRvplmp0PLOSNzgsYZ6Yae-TLRoOKi4gvKh3B1FYgwJcD44gQf_taPt_umYxQIseaX-LC38iJcExyzk6WpG-3i3Hf-Pwuj7Tf_j88NB6l9-pE8RyEDpaAGmcmpKciQQntWV/s640/blogger-image--498032872.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeTgX16aJfFODGTmie6eEJPYqoAi4fcugJNopUKi77F-YUu1_JHdAWAmWTa_Q8UOXKqfIDDAIcQhv-_SWeZ_ALMYrSNwYBo8KH-1mvH14CIOnU45QTt0A51UANXDuFlbGWABI5IF5Oa6TW/s640/blogger-image--1052324912.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeTgX16aJfFODGTmie6eEJPYqoAi4fcugJNopUKi77F-YUu1_JHdAWAmWTa_Q8UOXKqfIDDAIcQhv-_SWeZ_ALMYrSNwYBo8KH-1mvH14CIOnU45QTt0A51UANXDuFlbGWABI5IF5Oa6TW/s640/blogger-image--1052324912.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ9j2IXyAAKiuyfyz8bkZHsuIX3DIy7xrNod75mDNaHsulLhW_i1ZBnI9PNWnC7DRl7QDe14hwls9sNE70Pveo12XazQ9ko7AuAMQ1Zayq8n4YkhQkDNbkPTrCb2vWkvMQkwnIgrGGf9Ow/s640/blogger-image-146510340.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ9j2IXyAAKiuyfyz8bkZHsuIX3DIy7xrNod75mDNaHsulLhW_i1ZBnI9PNWnC7DRl7QDe14hwls9sNE70Pveo12XazQ9ko7AuAMQ1Zayq8n4YkhQkDNbkPTrCb2vWkvMQkwnIgrGGf9Ow/s640/blogger-image-146510340.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguwCBWRXpYsq7Ch_Jxz_JDFNggU4JX38b_drdTC16QaLfLvWOUhTP6AZMiHXaIA2BGkus2sfbXR1Dn6yOOD3BEFw_pI31ATzzbiXEfaKhmRhoDn1hWciCZvc6RUjs-Vu6pjuqDS2BwXqmU/s640/blogger-image--679910570.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguwCBWRXpYsq7Ch_Jxz_JDFNggU4JX38b_drdTC16QaLfLvWOUhTP6AZMiHXaIA2BGkus2sfbXR1Dn6yOOD3BEFw_pI31ATzzbiXEfaKhmRhoDn1hWciCZvc6RUjs-Vu6pjuqDS2BwXqmU/s640/blogger-image--679910570.jpg" /></a></div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-8760084639158893552012-05-08T13:12:00.000-07:002012-05-08T13:12:42.143-07:00Beautiful...It is a goal of mine to catch up with posts on our adorable little ELEVEN month old (where has the time gone?!)...but today is not the day for that to take place. I did, however, want to post an incredibly beautiful and challenging video. If you have the time, please watch...<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="223" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/38033654" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="398"></iframe>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-16258723089185421822012-03-12T14:41:00.000-07:002012-03-12T14:41:30.785-07:00Congratulations...<div style="text-align: center;">...Lauren and Rhett for winning the <b style="font-size: x-large; font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.familetime.com/">familetime</a> </b>giveaway!!! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Please email me (warrenandjill@gmail.com) and I will explain how you can redeem your win. I hope familetime becomes a wonderful way to share the milestones of your new baby!</div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-12602311650757432532012-03-08T08:52:00.000-08:002012-03-08T08:52:14.639-08:00Giveaway!!!I am so excited to be able to host a giveaway for <a href="http://www.familetime.com/index.php" style="font-size: x-large; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">familetime</a><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>...</i></b></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.familetime.com/index.php"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">familetime</span></b></i></a> is <span style="color: #222222; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">designed to enable families to privately and securely share information today, while creating a web-based family scrapbook for years to come. Since we live hours away from both of our parents, Warren and I rely heavily on the internet to share pictures and updates on our little blessing. With <a href="http://www.familetime.com/index.php" style="font-size: x-large; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">familetime</a> we are able to do that in a secure format that enables us to share more than pictures...it enables us to blog, send announcements, have a message board, post our calendar, etc. On top of that, it is private and secure--only family members and friends you add will have access to this information. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm thankful our family can stay updated with us on our blog....but, lets just be honest...as an adoptive mother, and because the "blog world" is so very public, there are only so many things I can post and talk about. To me, <a href="http://www.familetime.com/index.php" style="font-size: x-large; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">familetime</a> is the perfect avenue to share important moments, pictures, and events that I don't feel free to upload on my blog. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Their tagline is <i style="font-weight: bold;">"Connecting Families, Collecting Memories" ...</i>and they are willing to give away an annual premium subscription to <a href="http://www.familetime.com/index.php" style="font-size: x-large; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">familetime</a>. All you need to do is reply to this post and share how you think you might use familetime to connect your family and collect your memories. I will draw for the winner Sunday night and then will reveal on Monday. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Good luck!</span></span>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-73834735318308785352012-03-07T12:58:00.000-08:002012-03-07T12:58:51.750-08:00Joy......joy...sums up these last seven days. Even in the midst of our move, readjustment, the challenging transition of moving from two incomes to one...there has been joy. God has been so good to us. He provided a buyer for our home in Georgia--and led us to put a contract on a great house in Arkansas. Our sweet baby boy is NINE months old today...<br />
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...joy! I am still in awe of the grace of God that allowed us the opportunity to be Baker's parents. Almost one year ago we received a call that Baker's birthmother wanted to meet us. How our lives have changed since that moment! It is pure joy hearing his laugh and listening to him babble (though he spends time all day with "ma ma" all he wants to say over and over again is "da da da da da"). I find joy in watching him grow and develop. Having the opportunity to wipe tears from his eyes, though it hurts my heart, also brings me joy (he has learned the art of pulling up and has recently become brave enough to attempt moving from one piece of furniture to the next...often ending with a thud on the floor). It brings me joy to budget and pinch pennies..all which enable me the opportunity to stay home with him. The love Baker's birthmother and birthfather have for him is a beautiful/joyful thing...they still call, text, and send him cards and gifts. We have a unique and special bond with his birthmother...likely because we have an open adoption...I am his mother, but he also has a birthmother that carried him for nine months and loved him so much that she took care of herself (and him) during that time--eventually making an incredibly selfless decision--sacrificing her own desires for his well being. Some may find it odd we are so close and open with her...but, it is our "normal"...and in that we find joy.<br />
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Praying God continues to allow me to find joy in my circumstances...to be aware of the silver lining...and to continue trusting He works everything for <i>HIS </i>good.<br />
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<i>p.s. I will be hosting a wonderful giveaway <b>tomorrow</b>--so please stop by and enter!</i>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-81607385532874648142012-01-24T12:43:00.000-08:002012-01-24T12:43:30.622-08:00Steadfast...<div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a <b>steadfast </b>spirit within me." Psalm 51:10</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">A close friend of mine sent me a text with this scripture attached yesterday. She didn't know specifics, but knew I was in kind of a rough spot. Little did she know how much I needed to read these words. You see, I don't think I can describe my spirit as being firmly loyal, constant, unchanging, or steady this past month. Now, granted, there have been just a few changes in our life recently: saying goodbye to friends, leaving my job, moving with my family to a new state, and transitioning to being a stay-at-home mother (in a new place...where I know few people). These adjustments have been challenging, for sure! And, likely, I should cut myself a little slack...However, I unfortunately possess the personality traits of a perfectionist (you know... those people that want things to fall into place <i>flawlessly--</i>is there really such a thing?!--and <i>immediately). </i>So, instead of having a steadfast spirit, my emotions and thoughts have been up and down like the waves in the sea--solely based upon my circumstances. I realize I am human and am certainly not the first to base my happiness on the highs and lows of my journey. But, as a woman who is seeking to follow God, I realize that my life perspective needs to be a little different. I am not going to lie, though...it is not easy to have a steadfast spirit when God has called you to something new...to hold firm, to press forward, to keep trying when all you feel like doing is the opposite. However, the same friend that sent me the above verse, sent me another one today...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"...Since God assured us, 'I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you.'" Hebrews 13:5 (The Message)</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">I don't have to be "steadfast" on my own power or resolve. Honestly, there is not even a small chance I can adjust to new circumstances without His power working in me and through me. So, my life application??--1) claim Psalm 51:10 and Hebrews 13:5, 2) stop relying on my own strength to make it through, and 3) begin to catch myself when I realize my contentment is being found in circumstances instead of in the only thing that is constant in my life (Jesus). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Adjustments are hard...change is never easy. We all go through it...ours may be different from the couple down the street, but still--change is change. My selfish side screams..."God, haven't we had <i>enough </i>adjustments and challenges in our life over the past few years?"...but, then I'm reminded that He has used every trial we have encountered to strengthen our character and reveal His grace in ways we may have never known. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">One good thing about our move?! I have been able to reconnect with some old friends (from middle school--love it!!) and we were able to spend a day with our dear friends Ashley and Leo (they are stationed with the Marines in California, but were in Texas over the holidays)...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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...another good thing about our move?? --I have LOVED spending lots of one on one time with this handsome little fella...<br />
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...It's hard to imagine that this time last year our homestudy was approved...and now here with are with the most amazing seven month old little blessing!<br />
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Seeing Baker's face reminds me that God answers prayer...AND that while we cannot see the end result in the midst of our most difficult moments, God works everything out for his good (He provides and never leaves us hanging)...but, we must remain steadfast. </div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-81125635982322235722011-12-29T20:21:00.000-08:002011-12-29T20:21:03.793-08:00A long overdue update and Christmas 2011...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">Well...the title is pretty self-explanatory...this update is LONG overdue...over two months, to be exact. Two months of extreme craziness in our household...craziness with work, holidays, and (oh, yes) we MOVED to Arkansas! We were extremely sad to leave our friends, church, and jobs in Georgia...but, are thankful for the opportunity He has provided for us here. We have lived in our new state for three weeks...and, while it has been an adjustment, we feel excited about what God has in store for us here. We were so thankful my parents were able to visit us the week before Christmas and Warren's parents were able to spend Christmas with us! We had a sweet time celebrating the birth of Jesus and Baker's first Christmas...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">The Christmas Eve Candlelight service was beautiful. Afterwards, we ordered take out Mexican (festive, huh?!) from this amazing restaurant that is close to our house and we let Baker "open" one present. Of note, I think Baker would say his favorite part of the night was tasting the bags and wrapping paper. :) </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AhwHKrgHmF8/Tv00ftDV5cI/AAAAAAAAAdw/lM2H0zLULes/s1600/165.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AhwHKrgHmF8/Tv00ftDV5cI/AAAAAAAAAdw/lM2H0zLULes/s400/165.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">(before the Christmas Eve Service)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jgvD4rL0F6I/Tv0qaAr-_AI/AAAAAAAAAaY/xsd7DL56rRQ/s1600/031.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jgvD4rL0F6I/Tv0qaAr-_AI/AAAAAAAAAaY/xsd7DL56rRQ/s400/031.1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fuhPAMUeAeo/Tv0qa4gD0tI/AAAAAAAAAag/TQX_Nlu5AyY/s1600/033.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fuhPAMUeAeo/Tv0qa4gD0tI/AAAAAAAAAag/TQX_Nlu5AyY/s640/033.1.jpg" width="425" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kpQyqHk43X0/Tv0qbg3wFsI/AAAAAAAAAao/PRamPuJNbxk/s1600/035.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kpQyqHk43X0/Tv0qbg3wFsI/AAAAAAAAAao/PRamPuJNbxk/s400/035.1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Love all of that drool... :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PqXT-KCRcMY/Tv0qcYa1MsI/AAAAAAAAAaw/95Meu_1yMlY/s1600/037.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PqXT-KCRcMY/Tv0qcYa1MsI/AAAAAAAAAaw/95Meu_1yMlY/s640/037.1.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">...AND I adore his little profile... :)</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e3DpwG5OkLU/Tv0qdNxPN0I/AAAAAAAAAa4/GjRzChC23hc/s1600/051.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e3DpwG5OkLU/Tv0qdNxPN0I/AAAAAAAAAa4/GjRzChC23hc/s400/051.1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">After posing for pictures with Marley... </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3zwvdiml7RA/Tv0ztu_CAxI/AAAAAAAAAdk/EBt55A-2kY0/s1600/055.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3zwvdiml7RA/Tv0ztu_CAxI/AAAAAAAAAdk/EBt55A-2kY0/s400/055.1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Baker became a little drowsy...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Bj19VeMh3RY/Tv0qd7iQngI/AAAAAAAAAbA/POKDHXnnSLU/s1600/061.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Bj19VeMh3RY/Tv0qd7iQngI/AAAAAAAAAbA/POKDHXnnSLU/s400/061.1.jpg" width="355" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">...but, after a change in attire he was able to open one more present from his birthmother (a precious ornament she made for him).</div><br />
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Christmas morning we celebrated with a bottle, birthday cake for Jesus (my family's tradition that I hope to continue in our home), and a nap before church...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9CtklcWSptg/Tv01LnDnsPI/AAAAAAAAAd8/Mw1gCf7TXjw/s1600/180.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9CtklcWSptg/Tv01LnDnsPI/AAAAAAAAAd8/Mw1gCf7TXjw/s400/180.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lSpcE9Yz4rE/Tv0q6ypFMMI/AAAAAAAAAbY/UgoDRHboNRs/s1600/108.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lSpcE9Yz4rE/Tv0q6ypFMMI/AAAAAAAAAbY/UgoDRHboNRs/s640/108.1.jpg" width="425" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(the idea for the cake was found on Pinterest...please don't pay too close attention to the handwriting...I never realized how difficult it was to write legibly with icing...no wonder beautiful cakes are so expensive!!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sfcAHIcQMu8/Tv01MAdAGaI/AAAAAAAAAeE/GWPp4mOA9CM/s1600/185.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sfcAHIcQMu8/Tv01MAdAGaI/AAAAAAAAAeE/GWPp4mOA9CM/s400/185.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
After church Christmas morning, we returned home to let Baker <strike> eat </strike>open his gifts...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R3pnbsGrsmQ/Tv0q7-snf8I/AAAAAAAAAbg/6e1A9gVnMTU/s1600/119.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R3pnbsGrsmQ/Tv0q7-snf8I/AAAAAAAAAbg/6e1A9gVnMTU/s640/119.1.jpg" width="425" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PS_6_vvNLus/Tv0q82SnzxI/AAAAAAAAAbo/NAXkXBFKzNU/s1600/123.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PS_6_vvNLus/Tv0q82SnzxI/AAAAAAAAAbo/NAXkXBFKzNU/s640/123.1.jpg" width="425" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Can you sense the excitement?! :)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ce2LLUQuybU/Tv0q9363V9I/AAAAAAAAAbw/kUcILzwMNXc/s1600/184.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ce2LLUQuybU/Tv0q9363V9I/AAAAAAAAAbw/kUcILzwMNXc/s640/184.1.jpg" width="425" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> (yum!)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Baker was blessed with an amazing amount of gifts and love from our family and friends. However, I believe Warren and I felt the most blessed...by this...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cGh628dJtkU/Tv023Cd4_QI/AAAAAAAAAeQ/6F-uvK6fca8/s1600/088.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cGh628dJtkU/Tv023Cd4_QI/AAAAAAAAAeQ/6F-uvK6fca8/s400/088.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">...three stockings hanging over the fireplace...where last year there were two. Warren and I had a sweet time of prayer with Baker Christmas Eve...we could not be more grateful for how God answered our prayers...giving us such an amazing, precious, beautiful child to love...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">On a completely separate note...due to our moving to Arkansas two weeks before Christmas my decorations were very minimal this year...but, I was proud to adapt another idea found on Pinterest...a Christmas card display. The pins that I saw called for either an old window, shutters, or a picture frame...but, I had this old screen (which I purchased for $5 at a flea market) that I thought worked perfectly. Though I'm sure you could use two or three rows, I only tied one row of twine and used clothes pins to hang our cards. I loved the way it turned out!</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-akiwJVHJCE0/Tv0q-6E-WVI/AAAAAAAAAb4/AMbSSozw0zA/s1600/214.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-akiwJVHJCE0/Tv0q-6E-WVI/AAAAAAAAAb4/AMbSSozw0zA/s640/214.1.jpg" width="492" /></a></div><br />
<span style="text-align: center;">I was also proud to hang an adoption fundraiser wreath made by my friend Tiffanie...</span><br />
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I hope you all had a wonderful celebration of Christ this year! I look forward to catching up on reading blogs and writing about what God is doing in our lives.Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-34866053712708549802011-10-14T12:49:00.000-07:002011-10-14T12:49:46.972-07:00Four months...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div> Hello world...I'm four months old!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0NWqjB7Ni9HaxUZO9tJz2NmVd2c89h7GLKmuBiLBBBla6m7fUlwBPP1eTGZJ-7tusq9cSnb433XCUcC2MMlW68G4X3c93F5Q96iAkMrqah4-0qNTov-hEULKU832Kt309PXoEexY0d7ze/s1600/227.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0NWqjB7Ni9HaxUZO9tJz2NmVd2c89h7GLKmuBiLBBBla6m7fUlwBPP1eTGZJ-7tusq9cSnb433XCUcC2MMlW68G4X3c93F5Q96iAkMrqah4-0qNTov-hEULKU832Kt309PXoEexY0d7ze/s640/227.1.jpg" width="390" /></a></div><br />
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...I can now roll over (though sometimes I get stuck on my belly)...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN4gcXafrzlAxDKtI3G934sItivMTSkzFrc5lSi5bwvWreSMYAnfKAAeN24_eJTUefWNz-dRv67lmJ3esswrYEHLNwrbr1cKPhMN7wbFCfx3vZVAcV523HlSLxSq35XfOjlrrykN9D42bz/s1600/274.2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN4gcXafrzlAxDKtI3G934sItivMTSkzFrc5lSi5bwvWreSMYAnfKAAeN24_eJTUefWNz-dRv67lmJ3esswrYEHLNwrbr1cKPhMN7wbFCfx3vZVAcV523HlSLxSq35XfOjlrrykN9D42bz/s640/274.2.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><br />
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...I LOVE to make spit bubbles...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-8FVAEO_07Pg4ON5YYX706NM3vCvqvDrWleqwc-rUQSx5vc5eprROTUkC1BD0ZzgVeQsBG2zg0hkpO4TVDdwpq-L9TYyZe9Pe8E5uXTuXpQ0KRyzm6IU0oJFZ-rXcmHEpHOVXWP5M0xfb/s1600/192.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-8FVAEO_07Pg4ON5YYX706NM3vCvqvDrWleqwc-rUQSx5vc5eprROTUkC1BD0ZzgVeQsBG2zg0hkpO4TVDdwpq-L9TYyZe9Pe8E5uXTuXpQ0KRyzm6IU0oJFZ-rXcmHEpHOVXWP5M0xfb/s640/192.1.jpg" width="510" /></a></div><br />
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...I'm always smiling, cooing, and laughing...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNWo35reyT8R4YOmoegVnkpyp_fut2Haarmj5TyduFC3guB63iSIsCGl0_n__xREkNg3zct7TUcc4gWf2LKob6g6E-Pp52uOW-eu27qdUjW9qGBCmJcxnNzkOmC2Pipgu7JC-a7FydhKSv/s1600/323.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNWo35reyT8R4YOmoegVnkpyp_fut2Haarmj5TyduFC3guB63iSIsCGl0_n__xREkNg3zct7TUcc4gWf2LKob6g6E-Pp52uOW-eu27qdUjW9qGBCmJcxnNzkOmC2Pipgu7JC-a7FydhKSv/s640/323.1.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><br />
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...I never stop kicking and flailing my arms...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheYNm9FnuJBo6kOCnrUivD8CKHT1wUPsbOeTuNMpCHGVcjC1e_VKZRjqyqyoyznPFv5t-rZgzOgcvPNKyMawjidJCmxFkt-vL_rs-9PpUY4aOH1wohYjV043VYaot1IHlzJ2FEq7Dxm3aK/s1600/375.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheYNm9FnuJBo6kOCnrUivD8CKHT1wUPsbOeTuNMpCHGVcjC1e_VKZRjqyqyoyznPFv5t-rZgzOgcvPNKyMawjidJCmxFkt-vL_rs-9PpUY4aOH1wohYjV043VYaot1IHlzJ2FEq7Dxm3aK/s640/375.1.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><br />
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...I often wonder why mom takes so many pictures of me (insert raised eyebrows)...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQO7bV-zIwQMWXbUt1vNBS0Yi6-LtALyGVlyPNtX5Mz4ssO0O2Fg7A-RZLjzwmKy2B6ohwl43_G1At85tq2oDCLJP1Ev4TBR0ueYJJUBROIgJ0aP6JPn3Gc_v4mkhqHOypHzpGYBiQxzDM/s1600/433.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQO7bV-zIwQMWXbUt1vNBS0Yi6-LtALyGVlyPNtX5Mz4ssO0O2Fg7A-RZLjzwmKy2B6ohwl43_G1At85tq2oDCLJP1Ev4TBR0ueYJJUBROIgJ0aP6JPn3Gc_v4mkhqHOypHzpGYBiQxzDM/s640/433.1.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><br />
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...and I adore my puppy, Marley...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV-cdwpQuL-yBYt1xhwUicAsHdyRrhWaSLz9GF7SwcSchkhyphenhyphenb_EDyDm8WmP9jZfYkavllI6EzPaXUVKfyLORpQ8LvEojIm8JmyMYx7kq3B1GpJYha_WALJRpoxzryQtyrvqiGzFm5XGCmy/s1600/494.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV-cdwpQuL-yBYt1xhwUicAsHdyRrhWaSLz9GF7SwcSchkhyphenhyphenb_EDyDm8WmP9jZfYkavllI6EzPaXUVKfyLORpQ8LvEojIm8JmyMYx7kq3B1GpJYha_WALJRpoxzryQtyrvqiGzFm5XGCmy/s400/494.1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Love, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Baker :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I hate that it has taken me so long to post an update...I am determined to "recap" the last two months which have been full of a visit from Baker's birthparents, Baker's dedication, several doctor's appointments due to reflux, our first beach trip, my first overnight away from him :(, and a trip to Knoxville. Our little Baker is such a joy! It's only been four months, but I can't imagine this life without him! God has been doing several things in my mind and heart--it has been a joyful yet difficult season--which I hope to have the words to describe soon. However, my hearts is filled every day with the joy of our answered prayer. </div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-69553829546550114172011-09-02T12:58:00.000-07:002011-09-02T13:01:02.933-07:00Two months and Baker's coming home...I'm so behind on posting this picture, but on August the 7th our little guy was two months old! (next week I will be posting his 3 month pic--I can't believe how fast time has flown)!! He is just as sweet and cute as can be! Baker has the most amazing smile and laugh--he brings us so much joy!! At his two month appointment he was 12lbs 10oz and 23 1/2 inches long.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFtIAOhHeDT-GodcYb_XESLIEnAnf_6dEcAsFpAekSzxWH4s1Eixyt5NA60HSytYeNy8HWKfVe4PjWnr1b7Db0YZshe7fyAFtcd3W7I9i-9G8n4l1ApAPBg1lQ7EwS4r1n3db8fS_S6_4u/s1600/309.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFtIAOhHeDT-GodcYb_XESLIEnAnf_6dEcAsFpAekSzxWH4s1Eixyt5NA60HSytYeNy8HWKfVe4PjWnr1b7Db0YZshe7fyAFtcd3W7I9i-9G8n4l1ApAPBg1lQ7EwS4r1n3db8fS_S6_4u/s640/309.JPG" width="426" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3tMk6lZSDaeem_O_L5XzDPQpSC5xbSAgZ8zGuclduLGCNrb6B7LIplMr9t09CE5SOm5E4lwVdNad3IN02HxukMwoqKPnpr02mN3PG0tdL-2Cj6tD_ee5c-IS8mR5CW26RWwsfF-70-EW9/s1600/367.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3tMk6lZSDaeem_O_L5XzDPQpSC5xbSAgZ8zGuclduLGCNrb6B7LIplMr9t09CE5SOm5E4lwVdNad3IN02HxukMwoqKPnpr02mN3PG0tdL-2Cj6tD_ee5c-IS8mR5CW26RWwsfF-70-EW9/s400/367.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Of course we could not leave Marley out of any pictures with her little brother :)</td></tr>
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I'm soooo excited to join 400 other adoptive moms from around the US at the <a href="http://createdforcare.org/">Created for Care</a> retreat this January. These mothers are either in the process or have have already adopted domestically and/or internationally. It was SUCH a blessing to be a part of this retreat last year as we were waiting on our little blessing. <a href="http://andrea/">Andrea</a> (one of the founders/organizers of the retreat) has been a personal blessing to me through the ups and downs of our adoption journey. God has truly blessed her with the ability to clearly communicate His love and truth. <br />
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I want to apologize that our adoption story has been so broken up...but, I most definitely want to finish writing about our journey...So, here goes...<br />
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After a long day of waiting, an emotional goodbye, and a three and a half hour drive ahead of us, we finally returned home around 1:30AM... to our sweet dog...<br />
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and our amazing friend....<br />
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who were awaiting Baker's arrival...<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We viewed the nursery that our sweet friends worked on while we were away...</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And spent time gazing at our beautiful new son...</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">...Marley had to get a closer look as well... :)</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We had one more feeding...</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">...before settling him down to sleep in his new home...</div><br />
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All the while this verse continued to play over and over in my mind...<br />
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</div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong><em>"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands." Psalm 31:14,15</em></strong></div><br />
His timing for our family was perfect...and He chose the perfect child for us. Baker was definitely our unexpected blessing---but, we cherish him so much and wouldn't have things any other way. I know it has only been (almost) three months--but, I really can't imagine life without him. <br />
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...So, today, we are thanking God for His perfect timing and perfect little gift...Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-84167367516724856902011-08-06T13:40:00.000-07:002011-08-06T13:40:43.845-07:00The Hospital...and more waiting...I must begin this post with an apology for my delayed blogging. I began work last week...sigh...I didn't realize how difficult it would be to separated from Baker. However, I'm trying to focus on the positives...I'm so thankful to have a job where I am able to create my own schedule. I am only working two days a week in the office and one day from home (in-between his naps, that is)! Though I hate being away (and I practically ripped him out of our sitter's arms upon returning home after my first day) I am thankful that it is only for two days a week instead of five. <br />
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And, now...onto the cuteness we call Baker...<br />
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Baker has grown so much already! He is smiling more and more, laughing, cooing, and sleeping a good 8-9 hours at night!!!!! We have our second homevisit with our Bethany caseworker tomorrow and then his 2 month check-up is the week after that! Where did eight weeks go??!! This past weekend, the birthparents and the birthmother's parents came in town...it was a wonderful visit (one which I will save for a later post). :)<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;"><em>The Hospital and More waiting...</em></span></strong><br />
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As I alluded to in my last post, things became extremely difficult...and, well...awkward after we walked with the nurse and Baker to the maternity floor. While Baker went to check in at the nursery, we went into the birthmother's room. She was so happy to see us...we spent time hugging and listening to some details surrounding the delivery. Everything was exciting...and felt "normal." --However, all of that changed once Baker was brought into the room. The birthmother along with the birthfather (who had not yet seen him up close) wanted to spend time holding him and rocking him. While Warren and I were in the room watching them interact with Baker we recognizing that all of these were normal birthparent activities...yet, there was a pain in my heart--Oh how badly I wanted to snuggle up next to our son...how I longed to be the one that was holding him that moment. Several minutes later, Warren and I excused ourselves. Partly because we knew they needed their time with Baker and also because we desperately needed a shower and nap. :) Later that evening, we went back up to the hospital, hoping to spend a few minutes with our son and also to have a conversation with our birthmother's mother (remember...she is only a young teenager) about our "role" while Baker and the birthmother were in the hospital. While Warren talked with the birthmother's mother, I was able to rock Baker while the birthmother was asleep in her bed. Our parents, who had minutes earlier pulled into town, were in the hospital lobby waiting on us to complete our visit. We really didn't expect our parents to be able to see Baker, but the birthmother's mother insisted that they meet him in the parent room next to the nursery. So, we all crammed in a little room so they could meet their grandson for the first time...<br />
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(side note...the lighting in that room was not conducive for quality photos...but, I think you get an idea of the precious time we had with our parents and new son)<br />
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About thirty minutes after our parents met Baker, the birthmother's mother came to ask for him (she had earlier told us that the birthmother's family was on their way to visit). We reluctantly let him go....Comforted by my father, I cried--broken hearted. Though "legally" he was not yet our son, God had already given us such a love for him...and it hurt to see him go. It was painful to watch our son being wheeled down the hall, knowing that I really didn't have a say in the matter. Yes, we were given ID bracelets to inform staff we were his adoptive parents, but "technically," until discharge, all questions regarding Baker went to his birthmother. She was able to call the shots. And, we had to accept that. <br />
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The next day, was long and hard. We didn't get to see Baker until around 6PM that night. When we walked into our birthmother's room, the vibe (for lack of a better word) had changed. We had built such an amazing relationship with the birthparents and the birthmother's parents--but, I felt distance and coldness when we walked in that evening. She was holding Baker and did not offer us an opportunity to hold him, be near him, or spend any alone time with him. So, we sat there, attempting small talk...all the while I had tears welling up in my eyes. One part of me hurt so much...it was terrible to not have the freedom to hold my son. But, another part of me was trying to understand--our birthmother knew that after her time in the hospital was over, she would not have the freedom to hold Baker whenever she desired. Of note, Warren was amazing through all of this--he has such a natural ability to make any difficult situation lighter...while I was trying to cover my tears, he was laughing and cutting up with her family. To make a long story short, the birthmother's dad asked Warren if he would like to hold Baker. After a few minutes, Warren gave Baker to me...what a wonderful sight...all I could do was look at him...while feeling an immense amount of joy.<br />
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Things then went from awkward to worse...With a room full of Warren, myself, and several of her family members, our birthmother began crying while I was holding Baker. We were asked to give her and her parents some time alone. Out in the hallway, I began crying. My heart began hurting for our birthmother. I can't imagine the feelings that overcame her seeing me hold Baker. I wonder if, in that moment, the reality of the selfless decision she was making set in... <br />
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A couple of hours later, Warren and I left the hospital with plans to return later that evening. I had asked her father if I could meet with the birthmother alone...just her and I. After the tears and tension, it was apparent that she and I needed to get some things out in the open. So, with the prayers of many family and friends behind me, we returned to the birthmother's room. While Warren and her parents went to grab coffee, the birthmother and I had one of the sweetest times--moments of my life that I will treasure forever and hope to one day express clearly to Baker. Both of us in tears discussed how difficult it was to see the other hold him--we both felt like his mother. She didn't realize how much she would love him. Though she knew adoption was the best decision for Baker and for her, she was not prepared for how difficult it would be to see him, hold him, and feed him. After many more tears and words were shared between us, she asked me if I wanted to hold Baker (who had been in his bassinet). I held him in the middle of us. While sitting side by side, and hugging, we cried more and talked about all of his perfect little features. Warren and her parents returned at this time and she asked Warren to hold him. We had a good time laughing with her and her parents--God was beginning the process of healing all of our hearts--and I began to feel like our relationships were being restored. <br />
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The next day was a day full of waiting...waiting to find out if and when she would be discharged...waiting for the caseworker and birthparents to sign the needed paperwork...and waiting for the phone call giving us the "ok" to return to the hospital. Our parents were amazing supports through all of this...my stomach was in knots as I still feared something falling through...but our parents sat with us, tried to distract us from our obvious concerns, and waited anxiously and prayerfully alongside Warren and I. We got the call around 5:30PM that day from the birthmother requesting we come up the hospital. Full of relief, we went to the hospital and completed the necessary discharge paperwork with the caseworker. Warren and I then had some alone time with Baker, the birthmother, and birthfather. They expressed excitement and joy to have us as Baker's parents. We all cried, prayed, and took pictures. Then Warren and I gave them each a <a href="http://www.waxingpoetic.com/baby-insignia-charms-3">necklace</a> to remind them of Baker and of our love for them. <br />
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I have no doubt that Baker will always respect and cherish them for the difficult, loving, and selfless, decision they made. <br />
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Our birthmother decided she wanted us all to leave the hospital at the same time. She felt she would receive closure by watching us drive off with Baker in our vehicle. So, Warren parked our car in front of her parent's car...and down the elevator we all went. After Baker was handed to our caseworker (for legal purposes), Erin took Baker back in her arms and handed him to me. <br />
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We then cried, hugged each other, and hugged Baker...<br />
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We said our goodbyes...and drove away around 9:15PM.<br />
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We were able to meet the excited grandparents (who had been patiently waiting) at Chik-fil-A before we all made our three and a half hour journey home... (I will share our homecoming pictures in another post)<br />
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These were some of the most difficult and painful days I have ever experienced. What I felt was bitter-sweet...while Warren and I were filled with so much joy that we were finally looking at the answer to our prayers, I was overcome by sadness at the same time. God has given me such an amazing love for our birthmother--and in those moments of leaving the hospital I hurt for her--you don't ever want to see someone you love experience pain...and I knew that she had days of healing ahead. She is one of the most amazing young women I have ever met. I can never thank her enough for giving us a family. I can never show the amount of gratitude I feel for making such a selfless decision at such an incredibly young age. She loves Baker so much that she is willing to experience heartache in order for him to have the life she cannot yet provide.<br />
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Though an open adoption can be tricky at times...and we will ALL have to give and take...I am thankful that Baker will have the opportunity to know his birthmother and birthfather. He is loved by them...so much so that they were willing to sacrifice their wants for his needs...What a picture of the selfless love of Christ. What He experienced on the cross must have been extremely difficult to bear...but He did it for our good. We are God's children...through the sacrifice of Christ...<br />
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Baker is now our child...through the selfless and loving sacrifice of his birthparents. And we couldn't be more thankful!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFyFrumzt6M1VOXa0To37O-UglYUr8lS6aZPZLNg9wUbb3fbPlPeO3SCYafYpHLIu48dvn8lbyRbkcSpQRJuU8HICb4O9plRzeYG4FLG6Y_lA8jOw69opli6cW61zGss7B7vDC-LFo6Zjh/s1600/145.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFyFrumzt6M1VOXa0To37O-UglYUr8lS6aZPZLNg9wUbb3fbPlPeO3SCYafYpHLIu48dvn8lbyRbkcSpQRJuU8HICb4O9plRzeYG4FLG6Y_lA8jOw69opli6cW61zGss7B7vDC-LFo6Zjh/s400/145.JPG" t$="true" width="400" /></a></div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-77213533990412444952011-07-20T22:38:00.000-07:002011-07-21T05:34:16.441-07:00Eight weeks before delivery & Baker's birth...I've been debating on how to tell the story of our getting to know the birthparents, our time at the hospital, and the events that took place after delivery for the past few days. I have debated on what is too much, or not enough, to share. There have been so many people that have followed our journey (some we know personally, others only through technology) and have prayed for us fervently along the way. That being said, this story deserves to be told. It is a story of God's faithfulness and of His provision of our (almost) three year desire and longing to grow our family. <br />
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We live approximately three and a half hours from the birthmother's house and drove there almost every or every other weekend (for eight weeks) until his birth. God allowed us to develop an especially strong bond with the birthmother and her parents...as well as with the birthfather. We ate, played games, told stories, laughed, watched random videos on youtube...and, oddly enough, there wasn't much talk of Baker during our visits. Granted, there were those special moments where I was able to feel him kick inside her belly and we discussed her wanting us to be at the hospital as soon as she went into labor...but, other than that the conversation was always centered around the birthparents, their families, and us. We began to adore this amazing birthmother, birthfather, and her parents. More and more confirmation was given even single time we met, and through every email we shared, that this was God's plan. Because of this (and due to how cautious we had become based upon our past experiences), Warren and I finally allowed ourselves to feel the excitement...and to prepare for the sweet life that would oon enter our home. <br />
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...that excitement, however, was crushed four days before Baker's birth. To make a long story short, our birthfather's mother (who lives out of state) expressed her disapproval of the adoption plan and requested the baby go to her sister. Understandably, our young birthfather became confused and was torn between the choice he had made with certainty and winning his mother's approval. I couldn't eat...couldn't sleep...and was overcome with fear---I had flashbacks of our first failed adoption and began to think, "It's happening again." (Of note, our birthmother never wavered in her decision and both she and her parents continued to reassure Warren and I during this time). I was also incredibly saddened for the position our birthfather fournd himself...my heart ached for him during that time. He was confused...I believe he was being attacked. However, due to the answered prayers of many, the day Baker was born the dust settled, confusion was lifted, and our birthfather had a peace about continuing on with the adoption plan. <br />
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At 11:45AM on June 6th, 2011 our birthmother called me to tell me she had just left the doctor's office and was headed to the hospital to begin her induction!! Warren and I quickly packed our bags and began the three and a half hour journey. Labor was long....though the induction began in the early evening, our little man did not enter the world until that next morning. We stayed in the hospital lobby all night--not wanting to miss anything--and would sporadically go in our birthmother's room to check on her. She is such a strong young woman...and had the most positive attitude during this process. We were not able to be in the room during delivery, but since Baker was born "sunny side up" he had a little fluid on his lungs and had to go to the transitional nursery for several hours after his birth...our birthmother requested we accompany him there. What a precious three hours this was! We were able to hold him, feed him, and help him get his first bath...the nurses in the transitional unit (having known we were his adoptive parents) were so incredibly kind...they helped make us comfortable and offered to take several pictures. <br />
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<div align="center"></div><div align="center">The first time we laid eyes on our sweet miracle...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS15Ljq3_d8a7wGpPiSfPq3-ALA6u6z6ojrXcrYLH32tWDiy2gwyny7uxocIzeHYYrZcubjTb5BCaic1gVRDHDUyX2zfrusgYuP4TtEpESTz6VqdekHIDbkibiZDXKqTjCzdYsDq8rzb5U/s1600/042.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS15Ljq3_d8a7wGpPiSfPq3-ALA6u6z6ojrXcrYLH32tWDiy2gwyny7uxocIzeHYYrZcubjTb5BCaic1gVRDHDUyX2zfrusgYuP4TtEpESTz6VqdekHIDbkibiZDXKqTjCzdYsDq8rzb5U/s400/042.JPG" t$="true" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<div align="center">In the transitional nursery...the first few hours of his life...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKRRfyvLE68bC8V0yv95p_FAAulMAG7e3bQQ2Blbi0eVzUvKw_neppwTB-ExmWi_Y3WeOJ77Q7DIhyphenhyphenbmEhkYycvxfCIl2nkoO7jJE7vadTFsFgPcaS_ai5tlPU94JodFbNCI5YiVoxkO0Z/s1600/050.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKRRfyvLE68bC8V0yv95p_FAAulMAG7e3bQQ2Blbi0eVzUvKw_neppwTB-ExmWi_Y3WeOJ77Q7DIhyphenhyphenbmEhkYycvxfCIl2nkoO7jJE7vadTFsFgPcaS_ai5tlPU94JodFbNCI5YiVoxkO0Z/s400/050.JPG" t$="true" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Looking at those pictures again brings back such sweet memories. We were completely sleep deprived and had been in the same clothes for 24hrs (I know--gross!)...but, that moment, nothing mattered more than looking at and holding our precious son. I am so thankful for the gift God gave us! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After Baker was cleared to leave the transitional nursery, we were able to walk him down to the maternity ward where our birthmother had already transitioned to her room. And, excluding the events surrounding our birthfather's mother, the situation became extremely difficult for the first time...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">...to be continued...(--sorry--this would be one gigantic post if I tried to fit it all in) :)</div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-2715290417366008092011-07-07T20:32:00.000-07:002011-07-07T21:44:41.573-07:00Our little blessing...<span id="goog_938292910">...has made it home!!! For several reasons, I have not had the freedom to update on our adoption journey. I plan on "backtracking" in order to chronicle the events of the past two months...leading to our precious little gift...Baker Tyler-Neil...</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Baker came into our home two days after he was born. We are loving every minute spent with our little man! Every tear shed, every question raised, every disappointment is now completely worth it as we gaze at his sweet face. We feel completely blessed that God called us on this journey of adoption...we know Baker was always meant to be in our family! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">How did we come up with his l-o-n-g name, you ask?! :) Well, Baker is a family name on Warren's side, Tyler is a name the birthparent's chose, and Neil is a name on my family's side. Learning to use that hyphen in Kindergarten might be difficult for our little Baker--but, I love the symbolism of all of the names. After all, he IS a part of Warren's family, my family, and the birth family. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This week our little guy celebrates his one month birthday! :)...Time has already flown! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I look forward to documenting (in between Baker's naps) these past two difficult, yet extremely amazing, months. Until then, we will continue praising God...from whom all blessings flow!</div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-72327444207955838152011-05-03T06:38:00.000-07:002011-05-03T06:38:36.542-07:00Placement Pending....If you click <a href="http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW.nsf/0/C4E6ECE8268B75A285257824005CB056"><span style="font-size: large;"><em>here</em></span></a> you will see that our adoption status has changed!! :) We have been so blessed this past month to grow in a relationship with two birthparents who have chosen us to raise their son (due June 7th)!! Warren and I recieved a call from our caseworker on March 25th telling us the news and we were able to meet the birthparents and the birthmother's parents two weeks later. Since the initial meeting, Warren and I have spent time on two seperate occasions at the birthmother's house with her family, the birthfather, and the birthfather's dad. While I can't say much right now in this venue...what I can verbalize is how much we adore the birthparents! They are the most precious, adorable, sweet, Christian, young couple...and we are blessed to be on this journey with them! <br />
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As the birthmother and I have emailed back and forth almost every day for the past month, I feel I have gotten to know her extremely well...I truly respect and admire her courage and love for this baby boy. Warren and I look forward to having an open adoption with them. She has verbalized several times that she just wants what is best for the baby, even if that involves him never knowing who she is. However, she is just the kind of person I would want our child to be around--a beautiful, young woman who loves the Lord.<br />
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Last weekend, when we got to her house, she and her mother had purchased and wrapped several gifts for the baby...they had me open them and then sent the items home with us...such a sweet and beautiful gesture!...<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We are so thankful for what God has been doing in our lives and for giving us the opportunity to know this amazing couple. We feel a peace about moving forward on this journey--and we are excited about the possibility of this being the child God has for us to love...While the fear of another dissapointment still looms in the back of my mind, Warren and I realized a few weeks ago that we have to go into this wholehearteldy--we have to take a step of faith...trusting that the God who carried us through two dissapointments earlier this year will do the same if heartache should face us again. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement along this path He has called us to...Even in spite of the difficulties we have faced in our journey to grow our family, we wouldn't change a thing! We are thankful, blessed, and are clinging to Eph. 3:20 and Phil. 1:6.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-52529076392387351082011-04-28T21:59:00.000-07:002011-04-28T21:59:54.539-07:00letting go...With an extreme amount of craziness going on since...ummmm...late March...blogging has kind of taken a back seat. Not that I was an "on top of it" blogger before, but things have gotten really bad lately (sigh)...But, I guess that's life. Sometimes I think you have to do what you can do in order to make it through and hold on tightly to the rope you feel is unraveling. :) <br />
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Nothing terrible has been happening in our lives. In fact, just the opposite. Warren and I are doing amazing...God has healed our hearts, He has blessed us with so much, we are so thankful for so many things that are happening in our lives right now.--But, I think that "so many things" is probably the reason I am up at 12:45AM typing this...unable to sleep. I *hope* (fingers crossed) to learn one of these days to really <em>let go </em>...let go of control, let go of trying to have back up plan A, B, and C, let go of trying to have <em>everything</em> in order before big events take place, let go of certain fears and worries (based on past experiences) that creep in and attempt to steal my joy, and let go of thinking I have to have everything figured out...<br />
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...I want to replace my fears, worries, and stresses with <em>trust, peace, hope, and reliance</em> on the <strong>One</strong> of whom this life is really about. I think everyone struggles with this battle at some point...but, I think some of us learn more quickly than others (I would be an "other") :) that worrying does not get us anywhere...that stressing out will not solve all of our problems...that it is ok to make mistakes (it's how you handle the mistake afterward that counts)...and that there are some things in life you just have to learn as you go--trusting that God will equip you with exactly what you need for every situation. <br />
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I love and am clinging to this prayer by Priscilla Shirer (in the study "One in a Million"):<br />
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<em><strong>God:<br />
According to Philippians 4:19 I believe that You will meet all of my needs according to Your glorious riches in Chris Jesus. Lord, thank You that You are a shield around me. You are my glory and the lifter of my head (Ps. 3:3). As I journey, Lord, please reveal Your love for me that, according to Ephesians 3:17-20, surpasses knowledge and fills life with Your fullness. Thank You for being able to do immeasurably more than I can ask. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. </strong></em>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-65191073819919156432011-04-19T17:19:00.000-07:002011-04-19T17:21:54.242-07:00Photo Shoot Raffle!I know I've shared this before, but God has blessed Warren and I with some amazing people to walk alongside us in our adoption journey (some who live far away, others who are close by)...one of those individuals is our sweet friend Shanna. What a source of encouragement she has been to me! I greatly admire this mother of two (with one more on the way!!)...she is full of the love, grace, and wisdom I desire to posses as a mother and woman of God. On top of her being an amazing person, she has generously offered to give of her time and talents in helping us continue to raise funds for bringing our baby home...<br />
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So thankful for God's provisions and blessings!...and that we are not in this alone...<br />
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Email me (<a href="mailto:warrenandjill@gmail.com">warrenandjill@gmail.com</a>) if you have any questions regarding the raffle.<br />
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(p.s. Shanna has a website that is currently under construction...I will share that info as soon as it becomes available)<br />
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(p.p.s. I'm not sure why, but I could not get the raffle image centered...sorry!...things like that bug me!) :)Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-5403462930105351372011-04-15T05:09:00.000-07:002011-04-15T05:09:06.869-07:00Wilderness Journey...I don't have long to write today, but I wanted to share a thought out of a study (recommended by a sweet friend/co-worker) I've been doing called "One in a Million" by Priscilla Shirer. The study is on the Israelites journey to the promised land and, in turn, relates back to our personal journeys to our own promised land. Here is what she said on Week Two, Day One...<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>"When lifted against the backdrop of our own standards, thoughts, and expectations, the road God chooses for us is often not the road we might expect. He often chooses a wilderness journey for us to give us an opportunity to experience Him in a way we might miss in a place of ease and convenience."</b></i> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">God's goal is to make us more dependent on Him...to deepen our relationship with Himself...so that when we make it to our "promised land" (whatever that may be for each of us) we will have a rich faith and a deeper joy...and know Him in a way that was foreign to us before. I am thanking God for this wilderness He has led Warren and I to...Like the Israelites, I don't understand why our road to parenthood could not be a little easier, less bumpy, not as disappointing...but, also like the Israelites, I have no clue what God might be protecting us from and what He is preparing us for...So, I must trust in the middle of what I cannot see...I must be content where He has us...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I needed to be reminded of this verse Pricilla shared today in the study...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>"The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">My prayer is that I will get out of God's way...that I would be willing to allow Him to direct my steps... even if I can't see the final destination.</div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-53942951968417719402011-04-10T19:03:00.000-07:002011-04-10T19:05:16.646-07:00birthday road trip...Our two-fold road trip (to spend time with friends/celebrate my <span style="font-size: large;"><em>30th</em></span> birthday <em>and </em>to volunteer at the <a href="http://www.268generation.com/2.0/splash2.htm">Passion Conference</a>) could not have come at a better time. We have been worn out and most definitely were in need of some refreshment!<br />
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We made our way from Georgia to Mississippi to stay the night w/ Candice and Scott and see their two precious little ones....(Bella pictured below). Candice is one of my dearest friends...she is one that will always be there to listen to me and pray for me...I am so very blessed to have her in my life<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Before leaving Mississippi, we were able to have a <em>hilarious</em> lunch with my precious friend <a href="http://www.saltyseamusic.com/#!">Lindsey Smith</a> (who, by the way, is incredibly talented and has a CD that is soon to be released) and her boyfriend. Sadly, I was laughing so hard I forgot to take a pic. :(</div><br />
We then headed to Texas!!!! Once there, we met my amazing friend Amie for some fajhitas at Pappasito's (one of our favorite places)...<br />
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Amie and I met on our grad school tour...and became fast friends once the semester began. I l-o-v-e this girl for many reasons...some of which include her adventurous spirit, love of music, and her ability to have fun doing the most mundane things. Every time I talk to her on the phone or see her, she brightens my day. So thankful for Amie (and thankful she let us crash at her pad during our stay)!! <br />
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The next day was a big day for me...my <em><span style="font-size: large;">30th</span></em> birthday!! I assumed earlier this year that I would be sad on this (slighly monumental) day...but, I that wasn't the case. I felt so blessed that I was able to spend the day surrounded by my husband and some of my best friends. The day basically centered around food and shopping (what more could a girl ask for?!)...Starting with breakfast at Mimi's Cafe w/ Amie, Courtney, and Cici while Warren and Logan played golf...<br />
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Then we met Warren and Kendra for lunch at Panera...<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK-fVpqP1L-s6ovTDfpUCTu1KE0b2dIMI7aTV_0T0b0rowPFoqHMz6zCXAtccSSfbISYOm6ROrk5VXR_v9cPVX1LHcJhZkIWV9Fiz0shcmWS-oUblTKmWrFjd2-6tRPLq89AztYd8sJ1ga/s1600/164.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK-fVpqP1L-s6ovTDfpUCTu1KE0b2dIMI7aTV_0T0b0rowPFoqHMz6zCXAtccSSfbISYOm6ROrk5VXR_v9cPVX1LHcJhZkIWV9Fiz0shcmWS-oUblTKmWrFjd2-6tRPLq89AztYd8sJ1ga/s400/164.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We had dinner at a new Mexican Restaraunt in downtown Fort Worth...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">...Then walked a couple of blocks over to have dessert on the rooftop at The Reata...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjclr-6_9DxvbwRNU7iGRwXOavGZyDz_JLXNYKaVliqpxlaboWJgl0LjOa7oYdDOsiRmFZoI37Zpay_1SZYqzXNvfD_ZCFM_Y7Zu9GK3xBjKdIqzwgz7lAgIhST7Ngey1jTPyXmwoEZOw3i/s1600/019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjclr-6_9DxvbwRNU7iGRwXOavGZyDz_JLXNYKaVliqpxlaboWJgl0LjOa7oYdDOsiRmFZoI37Zpay_1SZYqzXNvfD_ZCFM_Y7Zu9GK3xBjKdIqzwgz7lAgIhST7Ngey1jTPyXmwoEZOw3i/s400/019.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRwbo7X23e4ogJ85iHXnFS_CmRR1m69BON_m0asLYyxHAUn7sMSNvCNurqVj-pXVySnaM7fU3XVWcDvkFK21yEN_6jIxIhOG0PwmV5xKgv-D-EeEOv8zGEF9DstjrOMedRC5FLEpgUdIOc/s1600/021.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRwbo7X23e4ogJ85iHXnFS_CmRR1m69BON_m0asLYyxHAUn7sMSNvCNurqVj-pXVySnaM7fU3XVWcDvkFK21yEN_6jIxIhOG0PwmV5xKgv-D-EeEOv8zGEF9DstjrOMedRC5FLEpgUdIOc/s400/021.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(We are so thankful to have <a href="http://www.onthefritts.blogspot.com/">Logan and Cici</a> in our lives. Warren and Logan are cousins, but I *love* that the four of us our good friends. We share special memories together as we dated, were engaged, and married all around the same time. I'm so exicted that their 2nd child is due in September!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHdR4s8C4E32-0u0Elp5Hp7mSiiiMghLZ7d3UlFRdhayCrfgnJEanPCZ7c6X2qYZX7stVbcvGRsDoWaZlFRYyk2LBDrlOOvzaN-bqq1INC9X0BjAk6h2W6XdnjRp_D_kJTfWaccqfIhlo-/s1600/041.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHdR4s8C4E32-0u0Elp5Hp7mSiiiMghLZ7d3UlFRdhayCrfgnJEanPCZ7c6X2qYZX7stVbcvGRsDoWaZlFRYyk2LBDrlOOvzaN-bqq1INC9X0BjAk6h2W6XdnjRp_D_kJTfWaccqfIhlo-/s400/041.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijQG5YgUXx2BBeC9GjSqAN_TehfrzQKyqq3Ce-KedJiVe6UAE5zr4UpttOp1EWeuo91zA3dBSd8vkeMK-_y6aLgI0dOqcHYcGuwMPdaP352FJsV7CC-KSPGQsuGPtZsPWHLmxZWwdxLU8B/s1600/044.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijQG5YgUXx2BBeC9GjSqAN_TehfrzQKyqq3Ce-KedJiVe6UAE5zr4UpttOp1EWeuo91zA3dBSd8vkeMK-_y6aLgI0dOqcHYcGuwMPdaP352FJsV7CC-KSPGQsuGPtZsPWHLmxZWwdxLU8B/s400/044.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(Above are some of my dearest friends from grad school...love each one of them!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The next two three days were spent volunteering at the Passion Conference...it was such an amazing experience to see almost 10,000 college students gathering to worship and grow in their faith...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiore2u6CjAPMtzkVhObnJdqcQJ27wDgJjkULvRbREUkK9obVT0zcBX7a2Jh1ukJmaQq2ugMkp7tnkTUWKABdlemcariMKQWzwWCa3BUzRU1tKMUuqBv-46_1TzmxjkIxntb5me3YBobwii/s1600/051.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiore2u6CjAPMtzkVhObnJdqcQJ27wDgJjkULvRbREUkK9obVT0zcBX7a2Jh1ukJmaQq2ugMkp7tnkTUWKABdlemcariMKQWzwWCa3BUzRU1tKMUuqBv-46_1TzmxjkIxntb5me3YBobwii/s400/051.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkxoW4fsb2cfxgdTAkCnrfLUr1ooTDDI1lp0PEK2diKQV9a3hIVNoSvnT7NenL9YoJBXXXzCT7lSyEBp1VhOS48C1AeM7Yox_KiWeKVBmqwkLsiGsYI9JJt-Dza0CU58pFDRSmmuJys2I8/s1600/052.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkxoW4fsb2cfxgdTAkCnrfLUr1ooTDDI1lp0PEK2diKQV9a3hIVNoSvnT7NenL9YoJBXXXzCT7lSyEBp1VhOS48C1AeM7Yox_KiWeKVBmqwkLsiGsYI9JJt-Dza0CU58pFDRSmmuJys2I8/s400/052.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(by the way...see if you can count how many times I wore this gray and white cardigan! ha! I bought it when we arrived in Texas and it came in handy as I had not packed for the somewhat chilly weather we experience once there)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixjE8lURyPfSpPr4s8sxuucizwIanUckmZFcYffyuOiITW4XbVuKx7JXqUBgrd9tYycFcVLc6nv4Rbg04RKPU-73q84LeH0LGU9LDzW4Xddl2mf1WJQpkSY_iCaoNi9d3P5UA2ZdLnNPs1/s1600/050.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixjE8lURyPfSpPr4s8sxuucizwIanUckmZFcYffyuOiITW4XbVuKx7JXqUBgrd9tYycFcVLc6nv4Rbg04RKPU-73q84LeH0LGU9LDzW4Xddl2mf1WJQpkSY_iCaoNi9d3P5UA2ZdLnNPs1/s400/050.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Amie, Amber, and I in the "Go Center" where students were able to give towards translating scripture into the heart language of a people group in Mali.</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzOiGsCZ-Iap1svpRitANAw3JzsxZp7vImlAEHofcnAc_NRte7SxwcwFLrpj27KImx8IjZDduur8wqLJa5BnENVAQLfYj9F4RLMsBdt0HeK24yi5TZ2ffU7CpnpfETzouCkVmzGSxl6wgs/s1600/182.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzOiGsCZ-Iap1svpRitANAw3JzsxZp7vImlAEHofcnAc_NRte7SxwcwFLrpj27KImx8IjZDduur8wqLJa5BnENVAQLfYj9F4RLMsBdt0HeK24yi5TZ2ffU7CpnpfETzouCkVmzGSxl6wgs/s400/182.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9ZYaj5YlgawMTdj1DSM-mc0nxY54yVh7z_gB-ENgUeT1xzqNjKHphbHf8GrHoxPxQDbwVQrYwe_g_pjnFSfYrgD0fvG-7AadtrBLwMsudCq7NF9_LURqyaBxJZ6u6cX0aFK8xxY3sC498/s1600/062.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9ZYaj5YlgawMTdj1DSM-mc0nxY54yVh7z_gB-ENgUeT1xzqNjKHphbHf8GrHoxPxQDbwVQrYwe_g_pjnFSfYrgD0fvG-7AadtrBLwMsudCq7NF9_LURqyaBxJZ6u6cX0aFK8xxY3sC498/s400/062.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Courtney is "my person." She is one of my very best friends. You know that friend that knows your most terrible of thoughts and actions, yet loves you the same?!...this is Courtney. She is one of my biggest encouragers and prayer warriors. We can be laughing our heads off one minute and having the most serious of conversations the next...that is what I love about our friendship! She is such an amazing person and I am blessed to have her in my life.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After Passion was over, I was able to have breakfast with an amazing young woman...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijsFliYIiH-6AxCKi-1-kcPwv8JV3RnKUkn2e_PpJEs-y73kS9NeozLmjNuqNoVfvXEJGhZ2BvD7HxDPiWDoPbCdPxZxXBsEMZ4DzcVv8-Zrvx8g5WS9DC3RQ6axh2MfUWtrmerJvlSOtN/s1600/066.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijsFliYIiH-6AxCKi-1-kcPwv8JV3RnKUkn2e_PpJEs-y73kS9NeozLmjNuqNoVfvXEJGhZ2BvD7HxDPiWDoPbCdPxZxXBsEMZ4DzcVv8-Zrvx8g5WS9DC3RQ6axh2MfUWtrmerJvlSOtN/s400/066.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">...Martha was in 8th grade when I was a youth intern at a church in Fort Worth. Now she is a sophmore in college at TCU (yes...I feel old). What an beutiful person she is, on the inside and out! I was so thankful to be able to spend time with her!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We then had lunch at Joe T Garcias...which is where Warren and I had our first date <em>and </em>where he took me for lunch the day he proposed. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSGi1DD1QNtPOw4RaBqG_vOWAMIOJ5742auVL5icRVw35LCkxXT09YTLK84-cv50ZcEiQWFcWFI4Bpl6hK9HoJYWnssasO9p2wfBXX462EIFaYQiQXyeR3Qb4RtxM2G9zrd2czZbzRO-_x/s1600/201.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSGi1DD1QNtPOw4RaBqG_vOWAMIOJ5742auVL5icRVw35LCkxXT09YTLK84-cv50ZcEiQWFcWFI4Bpl6hK9HoJYWnssasO9p2wfBXX462EIFaYQiQXyeR3Qb4RtxM2G9zrd2czZbzRO-_x/s640/201.JPG" width="360" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The next morning I had a "good bye" breakfast with Courtney at La Madeline (another favorite Texas spot)...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir3vZ6a35ypIEN51IpZlFNQSOREx96n2ny0ITKqxtMnSGhioTW6kwljsUewWwwgI_wIYDrvn_z48JYbp3RuD-Zi4jsMgfXB32Kc1bhB4bpUBSgan1HUDEoSeNPzB2acBa08rkT8P7nWuQI/s1600/075.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir3vZ6a35ypIEN51IpZlFNQSOREx96n2ny0ITKqxtMnSGhioTW6kwljsUewWwwgI_wIYDrvn_z48JYbp3RuD-Zi4jsMgfXB32Kc1bhB4bpUBSgan1HUDEoSeNPzB2acBa08rkT8P7nWuQI/s400/075.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(there is that gray and white cardigan again) :)</div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">On our way out of Texas we stopped at another favorite spot that we don't have nearby...Chipotle!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Whew! Congratulations if you made it through this extremely long update! Besides volunteering at Passion, our trip was centered around friends and food...two of our favorite things. On our way home, we were able to stop and see Tiffanie and Mike (another best friend from college) in Louisianna. Tiffanie and Mike are also pursuing domestic adoption and it was such a blessing to be able to spend a little bit of time with them. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After a couple of long and challenging months in our adoption journey, it was so nice to get away, to be refreshed, and spend time with some of our best friends. When we are in the middle of a trial, it is so easy to allow that difficulty to consume us...and it is often so hard to keep an eternal perspective...to focus on what God has done and what he will do. This trip was a reminder of God's goodness to us. He is near to us and He has blessed us with so much. We are grateful....and continue to rest in Him...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-79548439568393001392011-03-25T10:34:00.000-07:002011-03-25T10:34:13.439-07:00My times are in your hands...The Psalms have been my "go-to" book of the Bible lately (for obvious reasons)...this morning, reading chapter 31, could not have come at a more appropriate time...<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>"...I trust in the Lord. I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. You have not handed me over to the enemy but you have set my feet in a spacious place." vs. 6-8</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">And, later in verses 14-15 it says:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands..."</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">...my commentary reads..."In saying 'My times our in your hands,' David was expressing his belief that all of life's circumstances are under God's control. Knowing God loves and cares for us enables us to keep steady faith regardless of our circumstances. It keeps us from sinning foolishly by taking matters into our own hands or resenting God's timetable." </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">LOVE this...and now it is the verse we will read and claim as we walk out to our cars every day...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaFX7vOja_LwUt47xOFAXD0YBs-UBXIiteomM_OFyEq0S1lRGot7y6uj2Wss7nhR14HjROeu4yYQQt1lxwR1H-o4i0At-OD-OxJsInAQml-W0eV3ayCdXTRtQlAENrvP4_kPvIa6F35ru5/s1600/001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaFX7vOja_LwUt47xOFAXD0YBs-UBXIiteomM_OFyEq0S1lRGot7y6uj2Wss7nhR14HjROeu4yYQQt1lxwR1H-o4i0At-OD-OxJsInAQml-W0eV3ayCdXTRtQlAENrvP4_kPvIa6F35ru5/s400/001.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-17934535656141486912011-03-24T09:49:00.000-07:002011-03-24T09:49:44.059-07:00a small miracle...and another mountainGod has a funny way of getting our attention-huh?! I'm sure many of you have experienced this...but, it's almost hilarious that, in the middle of God teaching me something, I am surrounded by reminders of what He is doing...whether it be through sermons, words of encouragement from friends, blog posts, songs, happenstance encounters or random visual reminders...I sometimes want to say--"ok! I get it...THIS is what you want me to process through/deal with/pray over." :)<br />
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I really thought that I had dealt with the grief of our infertility...but, as I've previously stated, the circumstances of the past month have brought up painful reminders of the difficulty we have had growing our family. When we felt the call to adopt we had such a peace (and still do)...but, I fear that peace and excitement we had of growing our family through adoption may have covered up the lingering pain of our infertility. I was so focused those first few months on steps we needed to take in the adoption process, that I may not have realized I still had some scars related to our infertility. (Can you tell I'm a therapist??!)<br />
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However, I do think I need to deal with these scars. I don't want to feel this way, or be dealing with this, but as of late I have become increasingly sensitive to these issues...I really thought the emotions tied to our infertility were long gone...I thought they had left when our hearts desire to concieve was placed with a desire for children to love...which is when the peace to pursue adoption came. Nonetheless, here I stand again...faced with the pain of our infertility...and desperately desiring to be healed of this grief surrounding our current inability to conceive. <br />
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Though I feel this has been under the surface for a while, God used some strange things to grab my attention...it all started last night as I was reading a magazine in bed (**side note, while it takes Warren two seconds to fall asleep, it usually takes several pages of a book or magazine for me**) and came across a page telling of an LA based sylist who was pregnant. Obviously, I do not know this person (though I do watch her reality TV show), but my heart sank..."How is <em>she </em>pregnant and not <em>me?</em>" All the questions of this being "unfair" surfaced---over a celebrity!! <br />
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**here is where the small miracle came into play---I began quoting (in my mind) 1 Peter 1:6-7 which I have been claiming:<br />
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<em><strong>In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-30382"><span style="font-size: x-small;">7</span></sup> These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.</strong></em><br />
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...and I went right to sleep (usually this would have triggered a night of insomnia)!*** This scripture is really meaningful to me right now...it gives me hope that all of this pain and waiting is not pointless. These things have come to strengthen our faith, make us more Christlike, and bring glory to God! <br />
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I then read <a href="http://lisaanne119.blogspot.com/2011/03/open-adoption-and-man-who-makes-mine.html"><em>this blog post</em></a> from a birth mother and my heart broke. I was convicted. I want to address and deal with the issues surrounding the grief of our infertility so as not to carry them into an adoption situation. It is our heart's desire to have as much of an open relationship as possible with our birth mother...and I do not want anything to get in the way of that becoming a reality.<br />
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So, this may be another hill we have to climb...and that is ok. Even though it is painful and difficult, I long for God to work these things out in my heart. So, please continue to pray for us...please pray for the journey my heart is on to find healing and grieve our infertility. I don't want to hide any longer...I want to be someone that is honest and able to say..."This hurts...and I'm not over it yet..."--but, I also want to be a person who continues to work through struggles in order to become a better person, wife,...and ultimately a better mother!Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-778907709116059592011-03-22T17:41:00.000-07:002011-03-22T17:43:38.544-07:00(Another) Nursery Idea...Though not in my color palette, I L-O-V-E this idea for a nursery (found <a href="http://www.designspongeonline.com/2011/03/before-after-katies-bright-and-modern-nursery.html"><em>here</em></a>)...now where to find 26 (or even 13) unique letters...I'm not so sure...but, I'm thinking the search is on!! :)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEwpwmxCdrQ9Rm8aJ4XFdsdOi0y13X9X5a7KRo7j1XTXomUL8qsNSJlNoR4a61jK7tE9-XSB_xkrpz4A0RpnP3umnDVe5I72XZNlpgjNdvjOKXa9l4ol_0Ab1liYPI-KUVezQ4qDgrwZDf/s1600/katie_after21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEwpwmxCdrQ9Rm8aJ4XFdsdOi0y13X9X5a7KRo7j1XTXomUL8qsNSJlNoR4a61jK7tE9-XSB_xkrpz4A0RpnP3umnDVe5I72XZNlpgjNdvjOKXa9l4ol_0Ab1liYPI-KUVezQ4qDgrwZDf/s640/katie_after21.jpg" width="459" /></a></div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-79912903153314800192011-03-22T07:51:00.000-07:002011-03-22T07:51:36.909-07:00update, yard sale, and a birthday party...Let me just begin by saying that God has brought me a long way in one week...and that is thanks, in part, to so many that have been praying for us and who have sent encouragement our way. I guess this is to be expected, but I have become very teary lately...so many blog comments and emails I have received in the past week have been read through eyes blurry with tears...and several conversations I have had with others always seem to end with my eyes whelling up. God has used your words to give us renewed strength...I feel like, with each tear, healing has been taking place. Satan wants to use this experience to destroy our faith, to crush the peace we have of our call to adopt, and to wipe out our witness....but, I refuse to allow this to happen. It is a minute by minute battle...but, one I know God will continue to give us the strength, wisdom, and grace to fight. We firmly believe that God will finish the work He began!<br />
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This past weekend, we coupled with <a href="http://www.danielandlyndsie.blogspot.com/">Daniel and Lyndsie</a> for another adoption yard sale. It was not as busy as the last sale, but we still did well...we collected $1,100 w/ the sale and a very generous donation!! I still have a few larger items that I am planning on using Craig's list & ebay to sell. We are so thankful for all of the donations we received from friends. We still have tons left over...and I'm trying to decide if I have it in me to have one more sale...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimAsRvLLRcZO9zbaxc0t-Y2inZZ8ytvkNESZxThT9LK9qdsGrh7PntVAq53-AK_DM3E9drhrlbLoWeHd8LFMlbz1by25ykkUQntBPK4aXlCe7_7AAoQZMmZcCPZ72RYDweoGWUbrIGys4J/s1600/092.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimAsRvLLRcZO9zbaxc0t-Y2inZZ8ytvkNESZxThT9LK9qdsGrh7PntVAq53-AK_DM3E9drhrlbLoWeHd8LFMlbz1by25ykkUQntBPK4aXlCe7_7AAoQZMmZcCPZ72RYDweoGWUbrIGys4J/s400/092.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It was so good to spend time with Daniel and Lyndsie...God has blessed me with her friendship as we journey together on the road of domestic adoption.</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After we packed and loaded all of our un-sold items, we headed to my sister's to celebrate my adopted niece's birthday ...It's hard to believe EllaGrace has been in our family for only one year...I feel like she has always been a part of our lives...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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My older nieces touched my heart that night...Each one of them either bought (with their own money) or made a present for Ella Grace...they love their little sister and were so proud to share in the excitment of her first (4th) birthday. :) Below is JennahKay with the gift she bought EllaGrace...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Healing is in His hands...We are still weary, but growing stronger in our faith every day. Yesterday, the physicial fatigue set in...but, we are grateful to serve a God who is near to us in our most difficult of times. Please continue to pray for Faith's birthmother as she is facing several challenges right now. She is an amazing young woman and I'm very thankful God has allowed our paths to cross. </div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-6532900819345455592011-03-15T11:00:00.000-07:002011-03-15T12:39:25.479-07:00I'm feeling a little numb right now. What a journey this has been. We feel exhausted emotionally, spiritually, and physically...a part of me wants to shut down, crawl in a hole, and forget we ever started the adoption process. However, the bigger part of me knows God is in control, knows this is what He has called us to, knows that the events that have happened over the past month were not a surprise to Him, and knows that He doesn't want to see us in pain...that He is near to us...and that He will continue to give us strength and be glorified through this process. Yesterday at work, I noticed we had penciled in the schedule that this was to be my last week (this was at the beginning of the failed adoption). It brought back a lot of heart ache...Last night I spoke with the birth mother of this most recent situation. We talked for an hour and a half...it was good for both of us (I think). We don't regret that she came across our path...she was trying to do what she thought was best for Faith by finding her a healthy place to be raised...she could not have known or controlled the events that took place a week after contacting us. I go back and forth in my mind with thoughts of "Why" and then I have to remind myself that I cannot stay in that place of questioning...it is fruitless. I must continue to look up to Him and trust that His ways are higher than mine. I must continue to look at what He wants to teach us through this and how He wants to use us. <br />
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I am thankful for the kind blog posts, emails, and messages that have been sent our way by so many. Warren and I have been truly blessed by the thoughts and words that have come our way. We are daily surrendering to God's timing in the growth of our family. For us, adoption was not a selfish decision. I know some couples that have married and both have always wanted adoption to be a part of their family. It was not like that for us. However, we don't considered adoption as a "last resort" or "plan B." God placed adoption on both of our hearts, gave us a peace about growing our family through adoption, and we know this is His plan for us. <br />
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A few times since Sunday I have heard from different people something to the affect of, "Once you surrender everything to God and give up your desire to become a mother that's when everything will work out." I know these comments were made with good intentions...but, actually, when these comments are made to individuals in my situation it puts more blame and pressure on us...like there is something we are not doing right. After this comment had been made to me by a couple of (I'm sure) well-meaning individuals, I started to question if God was trying to tell me that we had not completely surrendered everything to him...but, then I was reminded of the truth...we <em>have</em> surrendered our situation to God...We are not out trying to "make things happen"...these past two situations have fallen in our laps. Now, the surrender of His time table vs. ours is a daily battle...but, He knows our hearts. And, as my wise husband put it to me yesterday morning, to pray God would take away our desire to become parents would be to pray something contrary to what we believe is His will for us (to adopt). Also, God is not a genie in a bottle. Just because we are surrendered to Him does not mean the things we want to happen will take place immediately. Sometimes--even when we are completely surrendered to His will and at peace with His plans--we still must wait...and we still must endure painful and difficult circumstances (Job and Paul are biblical examples of this) in the middle of our surrender.<br />
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I cried when I left my bible study this morning. I love these women God allows me to meet with once a week, but this morning was difficult as we have been reading through a book called "Shepherding Your Child's Heart." Today, unlike most, I had a hard time listening to the parenting conversations. I thought I was doing better this morning...but, I guess my heart is still grieved for these two babies we have had heart connections with in the past month. I know this may be hard to understand if you have never gone through the adoption process, but it is hard to <em>not</em> allow these babies to grow in your heart (even if it is for one week)...there is a part of you that has to open yourself up to this child...even when you know it could result in pain. It is a reminder, though, that He has given Warren and I a heart for parenting. And, until he blesses us with our child to love...we will wait, surrender daily, and trust even when we don't understand.Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-86222054581939628562011-03-13T13:22:00.000-07:002011-03-13T15:45:55.973-07:00Our journey through (more) pain...Though my last post was slightly vague, I am now free to be a little more clear about what we have been going through the past week. I'm sorry if this seems long-winded...there are just a lot of details....<br />
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Last Saturday morning we were contacted by a birth mother. She found our profile through Bethany's website, messaged us through our YouTube account, and somehow found our blog and emailed us. She told us she was 21 weeks pregnant with a girl. She described a significant amount of unrest and uneasiness she has felt during this process of adoption and told us she felt a sense of peace when reading our profile. She wanted to know more about us and wanted to talk with us about adopting her baby. Long story short, I contacted our caseworker, emailed the birth mother back giving her our caseworker's info, and the birth mother called our caseworker all before lunch last Saturday. Since she lives in another state, our caseworker directed her to her local Bethany office. The birth mother agreed to call them first thing that Monday, but it was not until Tuesday that the birth mother was able to get in touch with her local Bethany. However, we had remained in contact with the birth mother through several emails on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. We found out that this child was the result of a rape. We didn't hear from her all day Wednesday and I began to worry but, eventually felt at peace knowing if this was the baby God had for us she would take the necessary steps in the process. Thursday afternoon I finally received an email from her. She had been going to weekly doctor appointments since her pregnancy was considered high risk, and at her appointment Wednesday her cervix had thinned from 2.8 to 1.2 (in one week). She emailed me from her phone at the hospital telling me she was admitted and put on bed rest for two weeks. We emailed a couple of times back and forth and she told me that she wanted to continue pursuing adoption with us but would (obviously) have to wait until she was discharged to follow up with Bethany. My last email to her went out at 3:45PM Thursday. Thursday night and Friday we never heard from her. I started getting a little frustrated and cynical (little did I know that she was in no place to communicate with us)...Warren was encouraging me to allow God to guard my heart...but, I was so angry that she had left us hanging and had not returned my email. Thankfully Saturday God gave me a peace. And, finally, Saturday afternoon we heard from her...this was the email she sent...<br />
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<em>jill, i just wanted to give you a quick update. at 330pm on thursday my cervix was totally thinned out and already 4cm dialated with a bulging bag of water. i had lost my mucus plug already. the babys heart rate dropped into the 90s and my bp shot up. they tried to stop the labor but when she checked my cervix a 2nd time she ruptured my bag of water and there was nothing they could do at that point. she was born at 618 that evening weighing 1lb 1oz and just under 11in long. she passed away about 3 minutes after she was born. i am on my way home now. i just got both of your emails on my phone and if you would still like to talk you can call my cell. i think i gave you the number in a previous message. i am so sorry. i feel like i have let everyone down around me, including the precious little girl i just gave birth to. she was absolutely beautiful and perfect in every way, my body just failed her. i hope to hear from you again but if not i understand. </em><br />
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Heartache! We have begun to care for this young woman so much over the past week...she would have been an amazing birth mother...just a precious, smart, cute girl who has had a difficult past. Several months ago she began following the Lord and spoke highly of an old cheerleading coach and some church friends who were her supports. Though nothing was "official" with the agency, our hearts began to love this little baby too. We emailed her back last night and got this response today. <br />
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<em>I feel like I just cant say Im sorry enough. I guess that in my eyes I did let you down. From the first email I recieved back from you I have not thought of this little girl as mine, but as yours and Warrens. For the past 22 weeks I could not understand why God let me get pregnant and when I found you and Warren I knew exactly why.. I felt like God got me pregnant and led me to you to raise this precious gift. I just cant believe that she is gone. I cant believe how fast it all happened and how there was nothing that could be done to spare her one more week. I feel like this cycle has just been so unfair and I am so confused right now. I just dont understand why. I know and believe that God does work all things for our good but at this point, I cant find any good in this situation.<br />
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Im so sorry, Jill. Im so sorry that I let you and Warren get involved and then let you down. You have been so amazing to me and I think you are one of the strongest women I have ever known. I thank you so much for being willing to talk to me and being willing to open your home and your heart up to this little girl. I know she would have been so blessed to have you both as parents. I miss her so much already, but I feel like I miss her in a different way. I dont feel like she was mine. I feel like she was yours and as my heart breaks right now for myself, I think it breaks even more for letting you down :( <br />
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I really would love to stay in contact with you. I am so glad that you emailed me back. I was so nervous that I would not hear from you again. If you are up to it (and if not, I totally understand) I would love to talk to you over the phone. I pray for you and Warren. I pray that this journey does not cause you anymore heartache and I pray and am believing for a beautiful, healthy child to be in your arms. I am not sure how you feel about this, and if you are not up for it that is totally okay with me, but I do have some pictures of the baby that I could send you. Also, she does not have a name and I hate that I continue to call her "the baby". I definitely am not up to being on baby name websites or anything like that right now, so if you find a name that you feel is fitting, I would love to give you the opportunity to name her. <br />
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I love you, Jill. And I thank you once again for everything that you have done. I, too, feel like you are the big sister I never had and I want nothing more than to be able to stay in contact with you.</em><br />
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She is an amazing young woman. We really think a lot of her. I saw the picture of the baby (Faith)...it was the sweetest/most sad picture I have ever seen. We are grieving again...another loss. I do not know why God connected us with this birth mother a week before this baby passed away...just like I do not know why Sarah (the other birth mother) chose us one week before she delivered and then changed her mind. I do know that God is in control...and, for some reason, He has called us to a refining process that we can't understand right now. Though it has been a painful journey, I just pray He is glorified through it all. My heart is so heavy for this sweet birth mother...she has been through so much...and I don't want her to lose hope or lose sight of God during this process. Please pray for her...and for us.We know God is working out His plan...in our life...and in this birth mother's life.Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-72479438085023439702011-03-12T05:41:00.000-08:002011-03-12T05:41:56.826-08:00Trust...In light of the events of the past few weeks, I still stand in awe of all God has done. We have been healed, our faith has been strengthened, and we have a renewed life perspective. However, there is one thing I have not been able to let go...<br />
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This past week we have been involved in a situation that I can't really go into detail about quite yet. I have felt times of peace in the middle of this situation and I have been at extreme unrest this past week (I'm sorry I'm being so vague). Last night Warren said something to me...something I believe God wanted me to hear...He said, "We have to trust God to guard our hearts." ---This is not an easy concept for me to digest. I see now that I have been trying to guard my heart (especially right now with what we are going through)...and the way I guard my heart is by shutting down, shutting people out, and trying to "move on" (in an unhealthy way) in order to "save" my emotions from being shattered (yet again). This is my defense. I don't want to get hurt again. And, in "my way" of trying to guard my heart, I don't want to let another birth mother in. Now, obviously I <em>do </em>want to allow another birth mother into our lives and heart, but the pain we have been through makes me want to protect myself from feeling anymore hurt...so much so to the point where I feel I am now shutting myself off to potential situations. This is not good...this is not healthy...this is not what God wants. <br />
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I have to, somehow, learn to let go of the control...I want to learn how to let God guard my heart. I know God is completely capable of guarding my heart, but right now (I feel terrible saying this) my trust level is not so high. <br />
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I think what He is trying to teach me through this is that <em>guarding</em> my heart is not the same as <em>keeping me</em> from every difficult trial that may come our way. A sweet friend of ours sent us some wise words after the failed adoption...and I think the truth of what he said applies right now just as much as it did a few weeks ago...<br />
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<div><em>First I want to encourage you and Warren to be strong and to keep rowing. The storm swallows many people up that bail out in desperation or cannot endure. This weather will pass. Lean on him to keep rowing, even if you have nothing left personally. Pray when you don't feel like it, even if all you say is "I don't want to pray and I'm tired. I need You." Just know that in the midst of a dark spiritual battle, your faith and your attitude can be a form of worship, and can therefore be a weapon. Sometimes all we can offer is a broken heart, but that is what is asked of us. </em></div><div><em> </em></div><div><em>In the end, all people that are honored when they die are honored because of their discipline. All the great Saints I read about have one thing in common. They are from all walks of life and all points in time and so very different as individuals. The common thread is that they all endured incredible, unimaginable human suffering. At some point, realizing that this is part of your vocation and your calling at this point in your life becomes a point of strength. Although it unfair, God has asked this of you and Warren now, and may even ask it of you again and again. We are never promised that we won't suffer, but we are promised that we will never be abandoned. </em></div><div><em></em> </div><div>I love that..."we are never promised that we won't suffer, but we are promised that we will never be abandoned." So, here I am...learning to trust God in a new way. I'm learning to let down my guard...learning to not shut out people or situations just to "protect" myself (in this "protection" I think I'm really the one missing out)...Learning to let Him guard my heart...which does <em>not </em>mean He will keep me from trials...but <em>does</em> mean that He will carry me through. </div><div> </div><div><em><strong>"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped." Ps. 28:7</strong></em></div><div><em><strong></strong></em> </div><div><em><strong>"...but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him." Ps. 32:10</strong></em></div><div><em><strong></strong></em> </div><div><em><strong>"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:5</strong></em></div><div><em><strong></strong></em> </div><div><em><strong>"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God." Ps. 25: 1-2</strong></em></div><div><em><strong></strong></em> </div><div><em><strong>"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour, and my hope is in you all day long." Ps. 25:4-5</strong></em></div><div> </div><div> </div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189930458895454091.post-71278703607139524582011-03-06T19:29:00.000-08:002011-03-06T19:29:17.809-08:00All in a weekend...Though we live about an hour and a half from each other, it is rare that Warren and I get to spend a whole weekend with my sister, brother-in-law, and four precious nieces. Usually, I blame it on our crazy schedules...but, thankfully this past weekend nothing stood in our way...and what a weekend it was! I'm pretty sure you will be able to tell from the pictures below how much I adore these four little cuties!<br />
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They played dress up...<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Played on the swing set...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2AbYFGRPruSfV-CywClPRnhhj_Z3LS1aBwm0HhlIKfUqgo6QvP6PrvDJPf-zc8K0MQ8iTyJcjnkEUW0uBC31qUxK0n5-KHFojIadyrwgIPG02El2CU2SatOJd1Ya78vxy2nhobEMWyi3P/s1600/031.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2AbYFGRPruSfV-CywClPRnhhj_Z3LS1aBwm0HhlIKfUqgo6QvP6PrvDJPf-zc8K0MQ8iTyJcjnkEUW0uBC31qUxK0n5-KHFojIadyrwgIPG02El2CU2SatOJd1Ya78vxy2nhobEMWyi3P/s400/031.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Became entrepreneurs...(one penny per pine cone)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ol5n6Qq0DikTYgg9tpiPY2_G-Aw0AqZGxNUY_CwGyDg_y2LvRyNUFQWPplX4BW2tX-HH_35LjbcESc_-UUAM_zOrfY6zF_9-41qoAJS0fIM8qyOjUe-zsHahfJkBrM2NTFh2l35OIKQF/s1600/023.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ol5n6Qq0DikTYgg9tpiPY2_G-Aw0AqZGxNUY_CwGyDg_y2LvRyNUFQWPplX4BW2tX-HH_35LjbcESc_-UUAM_zOrfY6zF_9-41qoAJS0fIM8qyOjUe-zsHahfJkBrM2NTFh2l35OIKQF/s400/023.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVODYMjUpHX0anoiKnnWJXmPU3N1ZFoymVAj1ajwinv9cIKeIGdvPSyJPsLUfTlSkQN2OqEV0SnM8-wUfBwzS6baHJLzyzQmxqgap2psidlxu8xAvgycvNJ2qguaW40rnxJYmps-N8NinD/s1600/021.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVODYMjUpHX0anoiKnnWJXmPU3N1ZFoymVAj1ajwinv9cIKeIGdvPSyJPsLUfTlSkQN2OqEV0SnM8-wUfBwzS6baHJLzyzQmxqgap2psidlxu8xAvgycvNJ2qguaW40rnxJYmps-N8NinD/s400/021.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Enjoyed a bonfire w/ s'mores...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy5fYk3Q3VjmrzHGECgglbgZ93pxr_xibxOK2eGSbk9ksFD6XVOQRKNxqhjYjeF9vaJC9dqVSwrDmGYOkCSKqmw4HmIkY6wgaupsrQiNHUV5E7LJnKWgjktmie6LJdRCNMJYsNXhaQvgb2/s1600/046.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy5fYk3Q3VjmrzHGECgglbgZ93pxr_xibxOK2eGSbk9ksFD6XVOQRKNxqhjYjeF9vaJC9dqVSwrDmGYOkCSKqmw4HmIkY6wgaupsrQiNHUV5E7LJnKWgjktmie6LJdRCNMJYsNXhaQvgb2/s400/046.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The grown-ups enjoyed painting the nursery... :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEX4Bb-xkHQekM2Qujub4icgUaxqnItGjVtsqm9BSi-mWeDmGh8G2pWTn73Qp0r8XcmXhWs6h7zd6b8Mhr4zqgWo59j-_WsrPy8ooFtg1J6q-moK_4dFrAQr97jF0P5aB3nrl_gBfaQm2p/s1600/035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEX4Bb-xkHQekM2Qujub4icgUaxqnItGjVtsqm9BSi-mWeDmGh8G2pWTn73Qp0r8XcmXhWs6h7zd6b8Mhr4zqgWo59j-_WsrPy8ooFtg1J6q-moK_4dFrAQr97jF0P5aB3nrl_gBfaQm2p/s400/035.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><br />
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</div> and watched an original play entitled "The princesses and the popper"...(with lines fed by my oldest niece/"director")<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyfIEDzUvYDAjAu58dA_SsEtLBV6mVYIoeGpDwu01lvfGoUsE7vs7RqIBH2W6Flmc_DmBSZEVwOy_wiEymWlYUcMtl4YQ-sbFkrH5nEI0H5MF1ovOnplhSgdC5mFT__mi0G9QUig99Ldov/s1600/053.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyfIEDzUvYDAjAu58dA_SsEtLBV6mVYIoeGpDwu01lvfGoUsE7vs7RqIBH2W6Flmc_DmBSZEVwOy_wiEymWlYUcMtl4YQ-sbFkrH5nEI0H5MF1ovOnplhSgdC5mFT__mi0G9QUig99Ldov/s400/053.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1w5cG0yHd4r1jpPlpmKEfgBG89LYKfUcWDJdjZUuu2vKJLw2PUkMgUQ84-aFTvGjHtMU-Gdvc3LeQAZmfpvd6IXNOanDrBcJdpqF136I5_kjaE9T86Ba0ld2Ym11BcdNmwBL-3voi14lZ/s1600/056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1w5cG0yHd4r1jpPlpmKEfgBG89LYKfUcWDJdjZUuu2vKJLw2PUkMgUQ84-aFTvGjHtMU-Gdvc3LeQAZmfpvd6IXNOanDrBcJdpqF136I5_kjaE9T86Ba0ld2Ym11BcdNmwBL-3voi14lZ/s320/056.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp4-yqEqWiR-oQpwL99klywQdn3xxRk9BxbR0WsfJ_wV6HOgig-WjBnitUtabT6B2rewvHqqLSWkNulxPvd_ScnUlHiTijNSIr3YsIHgqJJxSq1piAOhtXwkXaG79http4kOY0D7VQpCyg/s1600/057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp4-yqEqWiR-oQpwL99klywQdn3xxRk9BxbR0WsfJ_wV6HOgig-WjBnitUtabT6B2rewvHqqLSWkNulxPvd_ScnUlHiTijNSIr3YsIHgqJJxSq1piAOhtXwkXaG79http4kOY0D7VQpCyg/s400/057.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(the final bow)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Such good memories! Love these girls and so thankful that my sister and brother-in-law would take time to help us paint the nursery!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLiv26_tUSRNhb2vNs7_e9s_AKJddGzuhEO-Ne9zlOSPsCMYK5i9C0EAfGPcymLXBCj3pdL4AnIDrG98QW6GWel_A7IstOL2U97ZgGwdcexIECLtNugQPG5E3NyWZEamHIHu0WrbHCkMHz/s1600/065.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLiv26_tUSRNhb2vNs7_e9s_AKJddGzuhEO-Ne9zlOSPsCMYK5i9C0EAfGPcymLXBCj3pdL4AnIDrG98QW6GWel_A7IstOL2U97ZgGwdcexIECLtNugQPG5E3NyWZEamHIHu0WrbHCkMHz/s400/065.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(Marley is thanking them too...in her dreams...)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928160936349883380noreply@blogger.com3