"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10
A close friend of mine sent me a text with this scripture attached yesterday. She didn't know specifics, but knew I was in kind of a rough spot. Little did she know how much I needed to read these words. You see, I don't think I can describe my spirit as being firmly loyal, constant, unchanging, or steady this past month. Now, granted, there have been just a few changes in our life recently: saying goodbye to friends, leaving my job, moving with my family to a new state, and transitioning to being a stay-at-home mother (in a new place...where I know few people). These adjustments have been challenging, for sure! And, likely, I should cut myself a little slack...However, I unfortunately possess the personality traits of a perfectionist (you know... those people that want things to fall into place flawlessly--is there really such a thing?!--and immediately). So, instead of having a steadfast spirit, my emotions and thoughts have been up and down like the waves in the sea--solely based upon my circumstances. I realize I am human and am certainly not the first to base my happiness on the highs and lows of my journey. But, as a woman who is seeking to follow God, I realize that my life perspective needs to be a little different. I am not going to lie, though...it is not easy to have a steadfast spirit when God has called you to something new...to hold firm, to press forward, to keep trying when all you feel like doing is the opposite. However, the same friend that sent me the above verse, sent me another one today...
"...Since God assured us, 'I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you.'" Hebrews 13:5 (The Message)
I don't have to be "steadfast" on my own power or resolve. Honestly, there is not even a small chance I can adjust to new circumstances without His power working in me and through me. So, my life application??--1) claim Psalm 51:10 and Hebrews 13:5, 2) stop relying on my own strength to make it through, and 3) begin to catch myself when I realize my contentment is being found in circumstances instead of in the only thing that is constant in my life (Jesus).
Adjustments are hard...change is never easy. We all go through it...ours may be different from the couple down the street, but still--change is change. My selfish side screams..."God, haven't we had enough adjustments and challenges in our life over the past few years?"...but, then I'm reminded that He has used every trial we have encountered to strengthen our character and reveal His grace in ways we may have never known.
One good thing about our move?! I have been able to reconnect with some old friends (from middle school--love it!!) and we were able to spend a day with our dear friends Ashley and Leo (they are stationed with the Marines in California, but were in Texas over the holidays)...
...another good thing about our move?? --I have LOVED spending lots of one on one time with this handsome little fella...
...It's hard to imagine that this time last year our homestudy was approved...and now here with are with the most amazing seven month old little blessing!
Seeing Baker's face reminds me that God answers prayer...AND that while we cannot see the end result in the midst of our most difficult moments, God works everything out for his good (He provides and never leaves us hanging)...but, we must remain steadfast.
