Monday, May 14, 2012

Joyful celebration...

Yesterday, because of our sweet little blessing, I was able to celebrate mother's day for the first time.

Though it was a precious, wonderful day, I could not help but recall Mother's days of the past.

Two years ago I was so distraught and saddened by our infertility issues I could not make myself attend church on mother's day. Though meant to be a day of celebrating, it was a painful reminder of my loss. While others were in church, I took our dog for a walk and returned home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers in a straw tied mason jar. Attached was the sweetest note from a friend...a friend who had a beautiful two year old, but who had previously walked the long journey of infertility. I still have her card on my bedside table. Although I was not yet a mother, it was such a blessing to have my longing of motherhood recognized and to be encouraged that my time of celebration would too come.

Last year on mother's day we knew about Baker...but, sat in a precarious situation. With two failed adoptions already under our belt, we realistically knew that our prospective adoption would not be "official" until late June. While in my heart Baker was already ours, I couldn't really allow myself the freedom to celebrate. However, I did muster up the courage to attend church that morning, and I'm thankful I did. After the mother's stood to be recognized that morning (which, of note, I believe makes it extremely awkward for people "of age" who do not yet have children, have had miscarriages, or have lost children...but that is a soap box I won't get into right now) two of my sweet friends (a mother and daughter) turned around and said to me, "That will be you next year." Tears started forming then as another dear friend came and sat beside me and had me read one of the most encouraging and prayerful cards about my future of motherhood--after which I began the "ugly" cry (you know what I'm talking about).

What a joy it was this mother's day to be woken up by a crying baby. Though not always a welcomed sound, yesterday it was...especially after recalling the past two mother's days. On top of being able to celebrate with my wonderful husband (who gave me the most creative and thoughtful gift--I will post a pic later) and adorable son, we were with my mother...my biggest cheerleader in life. She is such a role model of love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. I am blessed to be her daughter.

Baker's birth mother also had a reason to be honored yesterday. She will always and forever have a place in our hearts on mother's day. Her selfless decision to give him life provided us a family. Earlier last week we sent her a package with several recent pictures and a craft Baker helped make (thank you pinterest). The day after we sent her package, I received a gift from her family. The sweetest part about it? The envelope was addressed to "Baker's mom." Love them! We are so blessed to be in an open adoption with such an amazing family. She and I exchanged several texts yesterday...sweet moments I will cherish of my first mother's day celebration.



10 comments:

  1. Sweet Jill, your posts never fail to touch my heart. Your beautiful spirit always shines through your writing. May God continue to bless you, Warren and sweet Baker.

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  2. Sounds like a great mother's day! I found this article that I loved and I hope that this is the last year I will have to stay seated as our church asks all the mothers to stand to be honored! :) Your little boy is so cute!

    http://messymiddle.com/2012/05/10/an-open-letter-to-pastors-a-non-mom-speaks-about-mothers-day/

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  3. Jill! I flippn looooove u and the trial that has made u so much more beautiful than u were before (which I didn't think was possible!) What an Amazing testimony!!!!!! Bc someone chose life, you and your husband gained one. Life Never ends up the way we pictured it---------Especially if we walk w Christ. He has such a nac for blowing our mindsets to smitherines! LoL......which is why I looooove him. He's one large surprise! When we can say Lord----whenever, however, whatever, mountains are not only moved, but destroyed! I love you gal! Life is bitter sweet, but you've tasted the bitter-----you can now enjoy your sweet. Stacey

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  4. I love you. I am amazed at what you have taught me, your mother, through all of this. Yes, the picture is falling into place and we knew when we first held your son, our grandson, our family was waiting for him. So thankful to God for His many blessings. And I know there are more babies for you to hold, love, instruct in the knowledge of our Savior. Which means more for me to hold and spoil. We loved you three being with us this looonggg short weekend together. Life is bout family period. We love you all! See you soon sweetie. Hugs momma

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  5. Jill, that first picture brought tears to my eyes. It is the most perfect picture of you and Baker. You are most definitely being blessed by your faith in God and patience for His timing. You, Warren, and Baker will always have a special place in my heart.
    Love you all,
    Debbie Titus

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  6. thank you Jill!! people really don't understand unless you've been there! thank you for your encouragement and i am so glad to hear that your mothers day was wonderful! :)

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  7. Loved this post Jill! I am so thankful for your joy!! I love the new pictures on the blog! Such a beautiful family and you look so great, as always! I remember the 2 times before you moved that Annabelle told me she wanted "Miss Jill" to be her mama : ) I know Baker is and will always be so thankful that YOU are his mama!

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  8. I remember last Mother's Day, like it was yesterday.I remember me, you, and lauren hugging and shedding some tears. I remember knowing in my heart that you would be a Mama the very next year. Look at you know! A wonderful Mama to a precious little boy (who needs to stop growing up!!!) You were on my heart all day on Sunday. I know its hard to look back, but look what all that pain brought you... I love you Jill! Miss you soo much!!!!

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  9. Happy Mother's Day! Glad it was so sweet for you!

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  10. I so needed this this year. I made it to church, but I skipped the mother's day breakfast because it was too much and gritted my teeth every time I had to hear "Happy Mother's Day". I am so happy you got to experience mother's day this year. He is so adorable and I love the pic of you hugging.

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