Warren worked late last night, so I had a few hours upon returning home to dig into scripture...I know His truth is the only weapon I have to fight this battle in my mind. I'm not sure if this was a verse that someone had sent to me the past couple of days, or if it is one God reminded me of...nonetheless, I was led to read Psalm 34:18, 19:
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all."
Then I read in the study section of my Bible, "Sometimes God chooses to deliver us from problems and pain. But, if He does not choose to deliver us from the difficulty, He promises to be our source of power, courage, and wisdom...helping us through our problems."
I'm sure many can relate, but I think my problem is that I don't feel like I should have to go through troubled waters. I feel like God should protect me from it all--however, scriptures never promise our lives with be ones of ease...but He promises to be there in the midst of our storms. A godly woman sent me a poem and words of truth in an email over the weekend...I feel like it directly relates to what God is trying to teach me right now.
Thou art the Lord who slept upon the pillow,
Thou art the Lord who soothed the furious sea.
What matter beating wind and tossing billow,
If only we are in the boat with Thee?
Hold us in quiet through the age long minute
While thou art silent and the wind is shrill.
Can the boat sink while Thou, dear Lord, art in it?
Can the heart faint that waiteth on Thy will?
by: Amy Carmichael
How I pray for the Lord to awake and quiet this storm, and sooth the furious seas. Yet when His disciples became afraid, he said, Oh ye of little faith. If only his disciples had trusted the God of the universe, who was asleep on their tossing boat. Though he was sleeping, he was totally and completely in control. Their faith was little, but I believe God is making your faith great. Through this trial, your faith will become so great, that you will be able to pass on a strong and steadfast faith to your children. I am praying for you
Our faith is most defiantly being testing and refined. I am learning to trust God in the storm. Though this process is difficult, I would have it no other way if it means growing closer to my Savior. In a way, a small part of me (I say small, b/c the biggest part of me is still grieving) feels blessed to be going through this...blessed to know that God has not given up on me. He loves me so much and desires for me to loosen the grip I have on "my life"... that He allows me to go through storms in order that I may be reminded to fully rely on Him...to have faith even though I can't see.
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what He has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord." Ps. 40:1-3