Thursday, April 28, 2011

letting go...

With an extreme amount of craziness going on since...ummmm...late March...blogging has kind of taken a back seat. Not that I was an "on top of it" blogger before, but things have gotten really bad lately (sigh)...But, I guess that's life. Sometimes I think you have to do what you can do in order to make it through and hold on tightly to the rope you feel is unraveling. :)

Nothing terrible has been happening in our lives. In fact, just the opposite. Warren and I are doing amazing...God has healed our hearts, He has blessed us with so much, we are so thankful for so many things that are happening in our lives right now.--But, I think that "so many things" is probably the reason I am up at 12:45AM typing this...unable to sleep. I *hope* (fingers crossed) to learn one of these days to really let go ...let go of control, let go of trying to have back up plan A, B, and C, let go of trying to have everything in order before big events take place, let go of certain fears and worries (based on past experiences) that creep in and attempt to steal my joy, and let go of thinking I have to have everything figured out...

...I want to replace my fears, worries, and stresses with trust, peace, hope, and reliance on the One of whom this life is really about. I think everyone struggles with this battle at some point...but, I think some of us learn more quickly than others (I would be an "other") :) that worrying does not get us anywhere...that stressing out will not solve all of our problems...that it is ok to make mistakes (it's how you handle the mistake afterward that counts)...and that there are some things in life you just have to learn as you go--trusting that God will equip you with exactly what you need for every situation.

I love and am clinging to this prayer by Priscilla Shirer (in the study "One in a Million"):

According to Philippians 4:19 I believe that You will meet all of  my needs according to Your glorious riches in Chris Jesus. Lord, thank You that You are a shield around me. You are my glory and the lifter of my head (Ps. 3:3). As I journey, Lord, please reveal Your love for me that, according to Ephesians 3:17-20, surpasses knowledge and fills life with Your fullness. Thank You for being able to do immeasurably more than I can ask. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.


  1. I see you, feel you, hear you being there Jill!! "Letting go" to "let God". You're doing it and He IS Doing It for you because he crazy loves you and Warren.

    Love you,

  2. Hey Jill,
    I just found your blog recently through another adoption blog. We are also in the adoption process with Bethany and are waiting to get our papers for the home study. Thank you for being so open and honest on your blog. We know that the adoption process comes with risks and challenges... especially after dealing with infertility. God is using you as an excellent reminder of His loving hand controlling our lives to make them into something more beautiful than we imagined. I am adding you to my prayer list and will be excitedly checking your blog to see what God does in your life.

  3. As your momma, I haveto say that you are so like me....I have to learn many times over to "let go" of the "what if's".

    Hang in there b/c I see how you are doing so much better about those items of stress and planning. God is the ONE who has control and I am honored to know that you know that...and continue to CHOOSE to rest in that fact.
    Love you much!