Suprise!!!

Taking a little break from the adoption journey...we were able to spend a wonderful weekend with some great friends. Warren's birthday was yesterday and he was surprised times three as everyone came in at different points of the weekend! It all began Friday night...with Russ, Amy, Anna Claire, and Riley...

While I do no have the adequate time nor space to share the exact details of how Russ "surprised" Warren , I will say that it involved a loud knock, me being "held hostage" by Russ...

(reenactment) :)

...and a visit from the county sheriff (our neighbors thought Russ was a "prowler" b/c he was snooping around the house trying to get inside to scare Warren). But, rest assured no one was hurt and no one was in trouble with the law...just a simple prank gone array! :)

The next day...Hoosh and Leanne (our "unofficial" photographer) surprised Warren...

...and we spent the rest of the day watching football...

...playing with the Anna Claire, Riley, and Marley...

and eating...

Later that night, Jenn came!!

Warren took a vacation day and the boys played golf the next morning...

 and then we had brunch...

It was such a blessing that our precious friends took time out of their busy lives to help surprise Warren for his birthday. What a wonderful, refreshing weekend...

 

...and Marley was pooped :)

Being with Russ and Amy's babies this weekend just made my heart long even more for children! At one point, Warren fell asleep with Riley (the baby) on his stomach..it was such a precious moment (that I, unsuccessfully, tried to capture on camera)...I know he is going to be such an amazing father!

Not Alone...

Though we have only recently (in the past month and a half) started this journey, it has been so encouraging to know that we are not alone! Even in the past few weeks, I have been blessed with God bringing individuals across my path (those I had lost touch with as well as “friends of friends”) that have went through the process of infertility, those that have adopted children due to infertility, and those that have chosen to adopt first. I feel like (if it is possible) Warren and I fit into all three  of the above categories. At the beginning of our battle with “unexplained infertility” …which, by the way, I think God has a perfect explanation for…we saw adoption as a means to an end—a way to enlarge our family if nothing else was successful. But, God changed our hearts and we began to view adoption as our first priority…as the way God meant for our family to begin.

A wonderful book was recommended to me at the beginning of our infertility process two years ago…and has been such an encouragement!

I also have visited this website several times….which provides Christian based support for women undergoing infertility, pregnancy loss, early infant death, and adoption loss. There is also a forum you can join where you are put in instant contact with women all over the nation who are undergoing infertility or the loss of a child.

Sometimes, In the midst of my job (as I’m often surrounded by unwed teenage mothers that face unplanned pregnancies), it is encouraging to know there are hundreds, if not thousands, of women going through the same thing and desiring to glorify God in the midst of the heartache.

But, you know what? In reference to my first post…we all have trials…Mine may be different from yours, but I believe often we are all learning similar lessons of faith, trust, letting go of control over “our lives,” and realizing that God works EVERYTHING out for His good!

…Currently, as we fill out several other applications, Warren and I are in the middle of making decisions that feel slightly awkward. Do we choose to have a boy or a girl, or leave it open to whatever God provides? What about a child with special needs…Can we really say that we will absolutely NOT accept a child with a physical or mental handicap? …and the list goes on! How in the world do we make these decisions, most of which we would have no control over if the child was ours biologically?! We need prayer that we will listen, have peace, and be open to whatever God has for us! All the while, we are thankful that we are not alone on this journey…we have our heavenly Father who has provided us with a peace that words do not adequately described, we have a wonderful family, amazing friends, and have received wisdom from individuals that have been where we want to be…with a child to love in their arms!

Moving...

...forward in faith, we have decided to put in our application with another agency. Since Monday, we had been praying that one of the following would happen:

a) God would quickly provide another couple to join us in our adoption training
b) God would work on the caseworkers heart to be open to having training with only us
c) God would give us a peace about traveling to Atlanta once a week for six weeks on Tuesday nights
Or...
d) God would give us a peace about moving on with another agency or organization

Through much prayer and various phone conversations, we feel like option "d" was the best decision for us. While Warren and I understand that, with agency, the process is going to be long...we feel like with another agency there may not be as many barriers. Isn't it amazing that when God gives you a peace about something, and when He is in the middle of it, things just fall right into place? It took us a good week to even begin working on our formal application for the first agency we were pursuing. But, when we felt a peace about going another direction, we completed the other agency's application in a couple of hours!! Our "new" agency (pending approval) is probably about $10,000 more than the one we were pursing originally...which is why I initially had not wanted to apply with them. Now I'm wondering if it was my lack of trust in God to provide that made me cross them off my list?!

Unfortunately every time I think about the cost of adoption, I feel a tightness in my throat and anxiety begins welling up within me. But, could this be yet another way God is going to teach me to let go and trust Him to work in ways I would never think possible?? A friend (and fellow camp counselor in college) I had lost touch with, recently posted on my facebook and shared a verse she claimed during their adoption journey...

"For with God, nothing will be impossible." Luke 1:37

...I love that. Warren and I cannot make any of this happen on our own. Only God can put together all of the pieces of this puzzle...and He will!

The Wait...

We all have something we are waiting on...whether it is a proposal from "the one," bedtime to roll around, a career move, a hopeful prognosis from the doctor, vacation, retirement, ...the list could go on...right? For the past two years, Warren and I have been waiting on God to provide us a child.

We have heard it time and time again from people that have children, or have raised multiple children , that tell us, "Just enjoy this time alone...because it will never be the same." While I'm positive life as we know it will change completely, it's hard to describe to those that have never experienced infertility that we can't wait for our lives to be different. We look forward to chasing a toddler around the house, taking our child to fifteen million birthday parties, going to the the baseball games (or whatever it is that may capture their interest). We get excited to think about the crying and laughing that will be heard throughout our home! God has placed a longing in our hearts for a child.

I have so often questioned why, if God placed this desire in our hearts, He would not allow us to conceive (even after numerous medical interventions). Several weeks ago, after a couple of sleepless nights of struggling with this very question, I began reading a book that was recommended to me called Adopted for Life. Through this book, I was convicted that adoption didn't need to be our "last resort"...and that God was calling us to adopt now. It became clear to me that maybe this was God's plan for us all along...that our family was not supposed to start naturally, but rather through providing a loving home to a child who may otherwise never know such! While talking to a friend, I further realized that for the first year and a half of our infertility, I was begging God to allow us to conceive...to help us become pregnant. However, around May of this year, my heart began longing to love a child and my prayer changed to..."Lord, give us a child to love..." I know this was God preparing my heart for adoption. Thankfully, I have the most wonderful husband...and with the prayer support of our family and some wonderful friends, Warren was completely on board with beginning the process of adoption!

But, unfortunately, the wait continues. Today I was informed by our caseworker at Bethany Christian Services that we are the only couple right now with their office beginning the process. Therefore, we cannot begin adoption training until they get another couple to go through it with us. This is a six week training we MUST complete (through their agency) before having our home study. We will not be able to be viewed by potential mothers until our home study is complete. We are slightly discouraged, but are clinging to the verse that has been our source of strength all along:


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,"

declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9


His plans are so much better than ours! The enemy wants me to be discouraged...wants me to believe that we will never see a child come into our family. But, I trust in God's plan and His timing...even when it is difficult to see or understand why things happen the way they do. So, we continue to pray for strength and wisdom during the wait..