Monday, September 13, 2010

The Wait...

We all have something we are waiting on...whether it is a proposal from "the one," bedtime to roll around, a career move, a hopeful prognosis from the doctor, vacation, retirement, ...the list could go on...right? For the past two years, Warren and I have been waiting on God to provide us a child.

We have heard it time and time again from people that have children, or have raised multiple children , that tell us, "Just enjoy this time alone...because it will never be the same." While I'm positive life as we know it will change completely, it's hard to describe to those that have never experienced infertility that we can't wait for our lives to be different. We look forward to chasing a toddler around the house, taking our child to fifteen million birthday parties, going to the the baseball games (or whatever it is that may capture their interest). We get excited to think about the crying and laughing that will be heard throughout our home! God has placed a longing in our hearts for a child.

I have so often questioned why, if God placed this desire in our hearts, He would not allow us to conceive (even after numerous medical interventions). Several weeks ago, after a couple of sleepless nights of struggling with this very question, I began reading a book that was recommended to me called Adopted for Life. Through this book, I was convicted that adoption didn't need to be our "last resort"...and that God was calling us to adopt now. It became clear to me that maybe this was God's plan for us all along...that our family was not supposed to start naturally, but rather through providing a loving home to a child who may otherwise never know such! While talking to a friend, I further realized that for the first year and a half of our infertility, I was begging God to allow us to help us become pregnant. However, around May of this year, my heart began longing to love a child and my prayer changed to..."Lord, give us a child to love..." I know this was God preparing my heart for adoption. Thankfully, I have the most wonderful husband...and with the prayer support of our family and some wonderful friends, Warren was completely on board with beginning the process of adoption!

But, unfortunately, the wait continues. Today I was informed by our caseworker at Bethany Christian Services that we are the only couple right now with their office beginning the process. Therefore, we cannot begin adoption training until they get another couple to go through it with us. This is a six week training we MUST complete (through their agency) before having our home study. We will not be able to be viewed by potential mothers until our home study is complete. We are slightly discouraged, but are clinging to the verse that has been our source of strength all along:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,"

declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9

His plans are so much better than ours! The enemy wants me to be discouraged...wants me to believe that we will never see a child come into our family. But, I trust in God's plan and His timing...even when it is difficult to see or understand why things happen the way they do. So, we continue to pray for strength and wisdom during the wait..



  1. And we wait as the wanting to see a child in your arms. Praying that God will give you the desires of your heart. So glad you are looking into adoption and trust God for the rest. Praying for your sprits to be uplifted by a encouraging word from someone or His very word to peep into your hearts. "For this child WE ARE PRAYING."
    Hugs, DeeDee n Sir

  2. Jill you are going to be a wonderful mother! We are praying for you. Praying for God's timing, and I hope and ask God to make it so, very soon! We are thankful for your example of submission and faith in our all wise and loving Lord. May He give you the grace and strength to make it through, day by day. May God show you, Warren, and all of us more about His ways and His love through your sweet family. I am so glad you are sharing this amazing journey. I am praying for another couple to start the process today!!!

  3. Can't wait to continue to pray for this little one, for the both of you, and for things to miraculously fall into place. God is good and I know good things are in store. Love you friend.

  4. I knew you and Warren were considering adoption but was not aware the process had begun with an agency. Our prayers for you and Warren have already begun in this area. I know the time of waiting will be difficult. We anxiously wait with you. Prayers and blessings!

  5. blog looks great! y'all do too! i am praying for y'all! i can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for y'all. He is faithful and it's gonna be so good! shanna

  6. Welcome to the blog world! I am so grateful to know you and be able to pray for ya'll through this journey!