Wisdom...

...is what I glean from these ladies every Tuesday morning...

(Tuesday morning group during a retreat at Mrs. Carren's)

...The crazy thing is, they all have something in common that I do not yet share...they are mothers (and all amazing stay-at-home mothers, at that)...yet, I do not feel out of place in this group of women who are pursuing the Lord... and fervently learning how to raise godly families. Yes, I am the only one that does not have children, who works full-time outside of the home, and who does not have to change multiple poopie diapers during the course of one day...but, I walk away every week inspired by these women. Each one of them spur me on to be a more selfless wife and encourage me to think about issues in child-rearing that I likely would have never considered. Without even knowing it, they encourage me to pursue God more, and to be a better person. I love each of you, girls! God has used you in ways I'm sure I do not even realize at this point. Sometimes I wonder if He allowed me to come into the group at just the right time...so I could be encouraged and reminded to be sensitive to His leading...and therefore hear His call on our lives to adopt...just a thought!

I'm especially grateful for Mrs. Careen and the time she takes to invest in our lives...she demonstrates the fruits of the spirit...and is the kind of woman and mother I long to be! If you are reading this, I love each of you and am thankful for the encouragement and support you have given Warren and I as we walk on this journey! 

Recap...

...of the past few weeks. Whew...I feel exhausted. I can't believe it's been this long between updates...We, like most everyone else, have had so much going on...So many good things, but yet still so much!! Before I update on our travels and the precious time we've had with friends and family over the past few weeks, I MUST give an adoption update:

*First of all, many of you know how stressed I initially was about the financial hurdle of our adoption. However, eventually, God gave us an overwhelming peace and reminded me that he is Our Provider... friends, let me tell you, God has been just that to us! Through the generosity of those who have felt led to give, the yard sale, and what we have saved (with the help of using the Dave Ramsey cash system), we have raised 2/3 of our goal...in three and a half months! Only God could do this! We are truly grateful to be on this journey...and humbled to see God at work (despite our lack of faith).

*Second of all...we have been extremely busy the past couple of weeks working on our online adoption training...six classes, twelve credit hours, and a few hundred dollars later we have FINISHED!

*Third...last Tuesday we drove to Columbus to meet with our caseworker from Bethany Christian Services for our individual interviews (part of the home study process). They were about one hour apiece and were pretty painless ;) Warren, of course, made the caseworker laugh through the whole interview :)

*and, Finally we are scheduled (fingers crossed) to have our home evaluation Monday December 20th!! After that, I believe our caseworker has one month to write our complete home study and then we should be approved and ready to be viewed by potential birth mothers!

So, it's pretty safe to say we have been focused on the adoption process lately! In all the stress of getting documents and paperwork together, answering questions, and making financial plans... we have a peace. It is such a good feeling to rest in God's plan. I'm sure I sound like a broken record, but I know God has the right child (or children) to place in our home at His perfect time. And, after all of our paperwork is complete...we will wait...

In between our adoption work (aka...our second jobs) :) We have had precious time with family and friends over the past few weeks...

Before and during the Thanksgiving holidays, we were able to spend time with two of our most precious friends, Logan and Cici...Oh, how I wished we lived closer!! Love these two and their beautiful daughter!...

We were able to spend several days with Warren's parents in Tennessee (and I was out-shopped by Shara...once again...on black Friday) :) I am so blessed to have such wonderful in-laws!...

(Warren and his mom) :)

...And, of course we had to stay in Knoxville and watch UT beat UK for the 26th consecutive time...

Upon returning home, we decorated for Christmas...

(might I add that it was WARREN'S idea to put the ornaments in the wire tree shown above...I was impresed!) :)

I honed my inner "Suzy Homemaker" and went to a wreath making class with my sweet friend Allison

(I made this!!!)

Amongst having dinner with new friends and a few other Christmas parties, I was able to watch my nieces Christmas program ...

Can I just say how much it blessed my heart to see my newest little niece (EllaGrace) sing Christmas songs on stage...knowing that nine months ago she was living in an orphanage in Ethiopia...and, now, here she is healthy, happy, and singing praises to Jesus surrounded by a family that loves her so very much. It brings tears to my eyes!

I hope this season is a time we are all able to remember the blessings we have...and the joy and hope we have available to us in Christ!

"From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another." John 1:16

A little bit of everything...

God has blessed us in so many ways in the past week! God laid it on the heart of some very precious friends of ours to donate to our adoption...we were very humbled and extremely grateful for their generosity. Through them, God reminded us again that He is faithful...and He WILL provide all we need!

It was also a wonderful blessing to get to spend a little bit of time with my sister, my brother-in-law, and my nieces last weekend. While here, my sister took pictures of us for our Christmas card AND pictures we will use in our adoption profile book. Here's a little look at some shots she captured...

I absolutely love my sister's camera...However, the amazingnessof her camera means she is able to capture some of the not so pretty moments...like me reenacting a noise that came out of Warren's esophagus while he gave the camera his most serious of looks...

AND, Warren showing me his "real" smile after I was continually encouraging him to "not smile fake"

But, I think this one below (or it's colored version) may be used in our Christmas Card. Doesn't Marley look so cute??

...Which brings me to another topic. Some of you probably know that Shutterfly is giving away fifty photo cards for blogging about their products. If you know me, you know I love a bargain (especially as we are pinching every penny possible to save for baby Gorman)...but it is definitely NOT hard to rave about Shutterfly's products. Warren and I have used Shutterfly for our Christmas cards the last three years. Since we live so far from our family and many of our friends, I feel like photo cards are most appropriate! What I love about Shutterfly is they have so many cute options for really great prices.

Every year for as long as I can remember, my mother has written her annual "Christmas letter" that updated all of our extended family and long distance friends of our years accomplishments...Well, I love this photo card from Shutterfly that connects the family pictures with a short/concise family letter...

...not as much details as my mother's letters in the past, but I think equally as cute and more time efficient!

I really love these photo cards as well...

(really love how unique this one is!!)

I can't quite tell if I love this design or if I really just love the picture of that little girl...I think it may be both...

She's so adorable!! :) And, lastly, though I do not consider myself much of a "glittery" type of person, I kind of like this card...

Some of these options are around .90...which I think that is a great price! Shutterfly's site is easy to use and they have tons of great options for cards, calendars, books, etc! I am considering making some of our adoption profile books (that we may pass out to law firms) through Shutterfly rather than making them all by hand "scrapbook style."


So, I hope you all enjoy this upcoming Thanksgiving week...I pray you will be aware of God's many blessings. Even in the midst of pain and heartache...even when we don't understand why things happen in our lives...He is good...and He works everything out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). He does not promise He will give us everything we think we need when we think we need it...He promises that His plan for us is a good one...even if we can't see it in the midst of our present troubles or pain.

The small things...

"We can all see God in the exceptional things, but it requires the culture of spiritual discipline to see God in every detail. Never allow that the haphazard is anything less than God's appointed order, and be ready to discover the Divine designs anywhere." Oswald Chambers (November 14)

I am choosing to see God in the small things. Sometimes we become so overwhelmed in life focusing on what's wrong...the "big problems"...or by simply focusing too much on ourselves that we miss out on what God is doing around us. Call me crazy, but I believe God wants to be involved in every little (and big) aspect of our lives...He is always present...but, sometimes we are just too busy or too consumed with ourselves to see Him.

Yesterday morning started out that way for me...I was completely frazzled...we had so much on our "to do" list...and God only knew that I needed a reminder, in the midst of my freaking out, that He was there.

We had physicals scheduled yesterday as part of our home study. I know this is probably "bad," but Warren and I do not have a family doctor...we really just never get sick...therefore, we decided to go to the corporate health center in town for our physicals instead of taking time to establish care with a family doctor. It's a rather large practice...and in it God reminded us once again of His heart for adoption. It all began when the first nurse (who was my age) took me back...in the process of checking my blood pressure, she told me SHE was adopted. This young woman was absolutely precious and shared her story about how thankful she was to be raised by her adoptive parents. We had such an encouraging conversation. During my physical, the doctor was asking questions about our adoption and then told me that HE was adopted as a baby!! At this point, the nurse in the room became teary-eyed and said, "I had hoped he was going to tell you that!" If those two stories were not enough, when Warren and I got in the car he told me that the physician that did his physical (different from mine) had adopted THEIR second child and shared with Warren some of their story...I had to go back later yesterday for my TB test and a nurse that I had not met earlier (who was probably in her late 40's) shared with me her story of infertility and of adopting HER child...My eyes began tearing up as she shared with me her journey and the joy it has been to raise her daughter. 

It was so encouraging to hear these stories and meet these four individuals yesterday...all of whose lives have been changed  for the better by adoption one way or the other. God showed up to me in the lives of these strangers...and reminded me, again, that adoption is exactly what He wants us to be doing! God has a way of getting a child into the right family. Ultimately, these children are His...and Warren and I will be blessed to have the opportunity...for just a few years...to invest in God's child...

Thank you, God, for allowing us to be encouraged by seeing you yesterday...in the small things...and in the midst of my frazzled mind!

Just a little update...we have finished our self-studies for the home study (whew!!) and we have completed and sent off the majority of our paperwork. Our physicals and drug screens our complete and our second set of fingerprints will be done next week! Now, we have to work on our adoption training classes and making our profile book... :) 

break my heart for what breaks yours...

God has been doing a great deal in our heats this week...It all began with a text I received from a dear friend, who is also adopting, wondering if we would be interested in a child of another race their lawyer had contacted them about. Honestly, though Warren and I had discussed different medical and prenatal issues, we had not fully discussed the issue of a child of a different ethnicity. I became uncomfortable...then equated my "uncomfortableness" with lies surrounding my not loving all of God's children equally. If you know me, you know that I am extremely hard on myself and am a very analytical person....so, my mind had a hay day with all of these lies that were swirling around. Thankfully, after coffee with a precious friend, meeting with my Tuesday morning Bible study group, and much prayer I finally had a peace. Precious Leanne (who lead our Tuesday morning Bible study retreat a few weekends ago and was able to attend our group this past Tuesday) reminded me that when a lie rears it's ugly head, a truth is always present...seeking the truth will set our hearts free! The truth is, my heart is for adoption. One year ago, I would have never been able to say this...but, God has filled mine and Warren's heart with a passion for the motherless and fatherless in this world. This is the truth! I was also reminded that Warren and I will be at peace when presented with the child he has for us. It will not be a struggle...When God calls us to something He gives us a joy and a passion about it!!

So, we learned to trust our hearts, we learned our hearts are for adoption, and we learned that whenever we are presented with the child God has for us (no matter the race, the possiblity of medical problems, the possibility of the mother's drug use), we WILL be at peace with it. We are willing and open to whatever race or medical problem...as long as it is the child God is preparing for us.

I have seen this video on a few adoption blogs...and wanted to post it here...Warren and I just watched it. I was reminded of the truths God has taught us over the past week. We desire for God to break our hearts for what breaks His...orphans break His heart...and we are willing to love the child He has for us...no matter how "difficult" the circumstance may seem from our human eyes.



Isaiah's Story from 31Films on Vimeo.

Big...

As I type this, I am sitting on a balcony, at the beach, staring at the ocean, and drinking hot chocolate…yes, you read me right. I am bundled in my favorite winter sweater listening to the sound of waves crash against the shore. We have been blessed to be given the opportunity enjoy the beach (one of my all-time favorite places) for free over the next couple of days…and this is day one. Unfortunately, the Internet is down (which is actually kind of freeing in a way). Therefore, this post will be published much later than it was written.

Like many others, when I stare at the ocean I am reminded of what a big and powerful God I serve. And, I am humbled that in his “bigness” (if you will), He chooses to have a close relationship with me…He cares about every little thing I am going through…He knows every minute detail of my life. This great big God wants to be involved with me and wants me to be involved in what He is doing. He knows how my heart has ached and longed for a child these past two years (and two months)…He has seen every tear I have shed…and He has given Warren and I the grace and peace to see that His plan was larger than anything we could have imagined.

I spent two years grieving the loss of the child we never had…Infertility can be an extremely lonely place. Especially at my age…when it seems everyone I know is getting pregnant by “accident.” You begin to feel like something is wrong…and, personally, I began to question my own identity. I began believing lies and I completely blamed myself for our lack of ability to call our parents with “exciting news.” My identity was wrapped up in my inability to conceive…and I began feeling like less of a woman.  It was a several month process before I saw how far down this road of false guilt I had fallen. While volunteering at the Passion Conference (with some precious friends from Texas) in January 2010, God brought me back to the all to simple truth that who I am cannot be found in my inability OR in my ability to have children…my worth and value are simply found in the great big God that wants an extremely intimate relationship with me. I am reminded daily that I am not alone…Though I serve a big God who created the world, the universe, the galaxy, and so on….I also serve a God that is very much near…that cares…and who delights in giving me the desires of my heart (though this may not come in the time or way I expect).

Two more days...

...Until the raffle winner is drawn! Don't forget...only $1 gives you and your family a chance to win a photo session and 20 edited photos on a CD!! You can't beat that right before the holidays. Thank so much to those of you that have already bought raffle tickets in order to help us bring baby Gorman home! The raffle was graciously donated by my sister...and you can check out her website to see some of her work (or look around our blog...as she took all of the pictures I have posted of Warren and I on our main page). :)

As promised, here are some more pics of the yard sale...

I love ALL of my beautiful nieces, but especially enjoyed getting some good hugs in from my newest niece :)

The girls wanted to make cookies to sell at the yard sale. I thought it was a precious idea (even though Billie actually made all of the cookies while the girls worked very diligently on their signs)

Our day began to slow down and our piles of "stuff" diminished :)...

 The girls went to check out the newest shopper...you can't see it, but the man in the red shirt had a dog in a re-usable grocery bag. :)

 I love how the girls take care of each other.

I didn't realize how serious some people are about "yard-saleing"...as we were setting up at 6AM (in the DARK, might I add) people started rolling in with their flashlights and head flashlights. I mean, not that I'm complaining...I've just never been one to get out of bed early for anything other than work (and even then I push the snooze button as long as possible) :) It was just a whole new experience! We have about 1/4 of our HUGE pile of donations left over and are planning on having another yard sale in a few months...after we recuperate :)



Blessings...

I feel so full right now...and am about to burst as I share about the things God has been doing this past week and a half. So often, in my limited faith, I doubt God's plan...I think I have things more figured out than He ever could (what pride!!)...but, then I become aware of what He is doing around me. How he is weaving every conversation, every relationship, every event into his perfect plan for our lives. I hate that, so often, I become too caught up in myself and miss out on how He is at work around me. Thankfully, He has given me the grace to see that just over the past week and a half, we have been blessed with...

A joyful heart...
The past two years have been filled with so much sadness off and on...(but mostly on) :)...surrounding our infertility. After talking to a friend on my way home from work last week,  realized that I finally feel JOY! It has been refreshing to feel hopeful again...to not only know but to BELIEVE that God is working out his plan for us! Infertility is such a struggle...and every month that we did not conceive over these past two years was difficult. But, now I see that God had something different planned for us...and I wait excitedly for that plan to come to fruition!

An Anonymous Gift...
This past Tuesday morning, I found an anonymous letter in our mailbox...a financial gift to help us bring baby Gorman home. Tears are filling my eyes now as this gift reminded  me once again (in the midst of my worries surrounding the financial part of our adoption) that God WILL provide...He is faithful and he uses others to be a part of the work He is doing in our lives. It also makes me think...how does he want to use ME to be a part of what he is doing in someone else's life?

An OVERWHELMING amount of donations...
We were BLOWN AWAY by the amount of donations we received for our yard sale. What a blessing it was that friends and friends of friends would be willing to give us their "junk" in order to help us fulfill what God is calling us to! I have been truly humbled these past couple of weeks by the generosity of others (some of whom I really do not even know)! It took a small army to price everything we were given :)....in fact, we worked for at least eight hours Friday pricing (with the help of Bethany, Katie, Shana, and Billie, and my nieces). But, it was all truly a blessing and I am thankful to each person who generously gave so we can be one step closer to bringing baby Gorman home!

Amazing family and friends...
There were times when we first moved to our current location that I questioned why God would bring us here...but these past few weeks have reminded me of the support God has blessed us with! I am so lucky to have my sister and her amazing family live so close!

...and it was such a blessing to have them here this weekend to help us with the yard sale! My nieces bring so much joy to my life! My sister and brother-in-law recently adopted precious Ellagrace into their family...it has been a blessing to see how my brother-in-law, sister, and nieces have accepted Ellagrace as their own...their lives have been a testimony to me and an encouragement as we go through the adoption process.

(Ellagrace in a traditional Ethiopian dress)

I am also blessed to have such a supportive husband. God has grown us closer to Him and to each other these past couple of years. He is a wonderful friend, great listener, and challenges me to be a better person!

We are thankful to have parents that are supportive of us as we pursue the journey of adoption. We have also been blessed to form some incredible friendships where we live! I am so grateful that Bethany and Katie took time out of their busy lives and spent time away from their family to help us price items Friday and set up every thing very early Saturday morning! I am so thankful for the text messages, Facebook responses, and emails I received from so many others that were thinking and praying for us! I'm so thankful for the support of my Tuesday morning Bible study ladies...who have been such a joy to learn from and grow with over the past few months. God has given us such amazing supports here....and for that I am truly grateful!

Answered prayers above and beyond...
Our two family adoption yard sale was this past Saturday. Two precious friends, Mandy and Cathy Lynn Lanier introduced me to a wonderful woman of God, Lyndsie and her husband Daniel who are also in the process of adopting. Lyndsie and I decided to team up for an adoption yard sale fundraiser. I have been very thankful to have someone close by who is on the same journey!

Warren and I (along with so many others) were praying we would raise $1,000 in the yard sale to put towards our adoption....

Well...God, once again, did more than we could ever imagine! We raised $1293.75 in the yard sale and $359 in the raffle/personal donations!! I am blown away! I will post more pictures from the yard sale later this week! We are exhausted but so thankful for all of God's blessings....


"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20, 21



First...

^4-9 God is higher than anything and anyone,
      outshining everything you can see in the skies.
   Who can compare with God, our God,
      so majestically enthroned,
   Surveying his magnificent
      heavens and earth?
   He picks up the poor from out of the dirt,
      rescues the wretched who've been thrown out with the trash,
   Seats them among the honored guests,
      a place of honor among the brightest and best.
   He gives childless couples a family,
      gives them joy as the parents of children.
   Hallelujah!

Psalm 113:5-9

Tomorrow is of our FIRST adoption interview with our caseworker at Bethany...Maybe I should be more prepared...because honestly I do not know what to expect! Regardless, we are so excited...so thankful that we are progressing...and so ready to meet the child God will bless us with raising!


Last weekend was our FIRST visit to Athens, GA for the UT/UGA game...

I'm still not really sure what the deal is with the arch...but we took our picture under it anyway :)

Tailgating with Shaun and Bethany...our sweet friends/trip-roomies

Finally, today was my FIRST time to watch a show about teenage mother...if you know me, you know I'm a reality TV junkie. However, I have never allowed my self to watch shows regarding babies (16 and pregnant, Teen Mom, etc.) because in the past it has just been too hard as I've struggled with anger and disappointment over our infertility. However, as I was flipping channels last night, I saw that there was an episode partly focusing on the first visit between two birth parents and the adoptive parents/child...so I quickly pressed record!... Lately, I have been thinking alot about what kind of relationship we will have with our birth mother. And, quite honestly, I never thought this show would conjure up so many deep thoughts and emotions, :) but as tears were streaming down my face God continued to clarify several things for me...

1. I desire (if possible) us to have a healthy relationship with our birth parents. The more Warren and I talk about adoption, and the more couples we speak with who have adopted domestically, the more we see the benefit of having an open (or semi-open) adoption. Granted, our birth mother may not want anything to do with us or the child after delivery...and we will respect that. However, with healthy boundaries in place, I would love nothing more than for baby Gorman to know their birth parents...to know he/she is loved by so many people...loved so much that someone sacrificed for them...which leads me to...

2.  Adoption is one of the most selfless things a mother can do! I know I will never understand the extent of this act...but I hope to never grow insensitive to the amount of pressure and emotional strain placed on birth parents. What a huge sacrifice they are making..to place the well-being of the child before their own wants and desires. I am praying now for our birth parents...that God will grant them needed wisdom and strength.

Ultimately, my hope is in this...

 He gives childless couples a family,
      gives them joy as the parents of children.
   Hallelujah!